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Family wants to meet my 15 month old, but I don't feel up to an 8 hour plane ride with her! Am I a selfish prick?

I had two trips planned to visit my relatives on the west coast, but cancelled at the last moment. I'm just not up for a plane trip with a 15 month old toddler (who has never flown before). We would have to stay in a motel, and add onto that the cost of the plane tickets, baggage fees, food, etc, we're looking at almost $1600 for a 5-day trip!

My whole family wants to meet my daughter, but I'm just not up to the trip, especially since I'd have to make the trip alone with her. I'd rather save that money and instead take my daughter on a small Greyhound trip to a nearby city/town (we live in NY state).

Do you think I'm selfish?

(By family, I mean my aunts and uncles, brother and sister...I haven't spoken to my brother or sister for months. My parents passed away).


Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think that if they want to see her they should spend the money to come to you guys or pay for you to see them. That seriously can't think you are selfish because of it. I mean that's a lot of money.

    Answer by heartfrommyson at 11:59 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • No.

    Invite them to visit you. If you get flack,tell them you dont' want to expose your child to the germs on an airplane...especially with Swine Flu.

    Then we'll see who really wants to see her. (If they come to your house.)

    Answer by 07upsydaisy at 11:59 PM on Sep. 20, 2009

  • If you are selfish, then so am I. My nusband is stationed in California for a few months and I am back in NC. He wants me to fly out there with our 14 month old but I refuse because I just don't think i can handle the plane ride (plus the expense). Don't get me wrong, I miss him, but I don't think the trip is worth the hassle at this point. He'll be home in a few more months anyway.

    Answer by Danielle720 at 12:00 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • i dont think it's selfish. but i can be done
    I flew to Korea with an almost 2yr old (he turned 1 while we were in korea!) that's a 10-12 non stop flight.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:02 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • You're not selfish. If they really want to see you both, maybe everyone could chip in on the expense? It'd be a lot less expensive for you and your child to fly than for all of them to fly to you, but I do understand your feelings on it. I've never flown with a child and I never want to, to be honest. If I did, I'd have to buy the child/ren their own seats and that would be even more expensive, plus you'd have to carry car seat, stroller etc... traveling nightmare even in a car, let alone a plane.
    I'd suggest that you all get together and do video so they can see her and she can see and hear them (I did this with a really close friend for years).

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:08 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • hell no. u should make them to take their asses to see you! lol but seriously if you did take that plane ride, i cant imagine a 15 month sitting still and being quite for a long period of time.

    Answer by ladypyro at 12:11 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • When I had three kids and lived in Germany (Air Force family) I wanted to let all my relatives see my new little boy who was born there. My DH couldn't get leave so I flew from Germany to Minnesota ....a long trip...with a 4 and a half year old, a 3 year old and a 11 month old. It wasn't too bad. They slept and they colored pictures and ate. They were really good kids. It was physically hard, but not too bad and the family was so happy to see them.

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 12:16 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Hell no! If any of these out of town family members have had children of their own, they should know better than to make such a request. I don't think you actually said that they requested you come there but you in turn should not feel obligated to make the trip. If it is that important to these family members to meet your daughter, they should be willing to make the trip and come to her. And, I would suggest you make them feel welcome to do so and just casually say something like "I don't feel comfortable taking a plane ride with a toddler, but if you would like to come here and visit you are welcome to". That way they will know you are not rejecting the idea just the method of making it happen!!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:41 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Your not selfish and if I didn't have to do it I wouldn't be getting on a plane with my 16 month old son but we are stationed in Germany now so in about 2 weeks I will be taking a 16-18 hour plane ride from TX to Germany with him all by myself. I am not looking forward to it at all.

    Answer by Sammisweets at 12:53 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • If it was your hubby, then you should definitely go! That is the main relationship that needs the time and thoughtfulness invested into it. But, like others have said, let them come to you.

    Answer by squish at 1:29 AM on Sep. 21, 2009