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Why would my ex from 15 years ago call me to tell me his wife cheated on him?

He was my college sweetheart. We had a child together but our relationship did not work. Over the years he has done a decent job having a relationship with his daughter. I see him a few times a year when he wants to see our daughter. Since then I have been happily married. Tonight he called very upset and hurt to tell me his wife was having an affair. I felt so sorry for him. They have two beautiful boys together. It was just weird hearing him cry on my shoulder. I would not call him if I had a major life crisis. He was is tears and I hate to see others hurting. I am also afraid he might call again and really don't feel like he should. What should I say?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Sep. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • If it were me, i'd tell him that i dont think that i'm the right person for him to be talking too and that it might be a better idea for him and his wife to get some counseling.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Was he drinking? Could be he was. In any case, it's not appropriate for him to call you. If he calls again, tell him this is a matter for him and a buddy to discuss. If he doesn't get the message, have your hubby come on the line to talk to him. I'll bet that shuts down the commiseration.


    Answer by 07upsydaisy at 12:02 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • do not talk to him he is feeling you out! to hook up

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • did he cheat on you and thats why things didn't work? maybe he now knows how it feels and wanted you to tell him its all ok?

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:05 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • It sounds like you and him still get along good. Maybe he just needs somebody to talk to and has nobody else to talk that he trusts. If I would be you I would tell my hubby about the phonecall and still talk to your ex if he needs somebody to talk.

    Answer by crazypink at 12:05 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • He probably needed it someone to talk to try not to be available I mean what can you do. screen his calls and if it about your child and his then answer but once he starts to go there (his cheating wife) oh there goes the door bell gotta go..

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • question is did he cheat on u is htat why u guys are no longer togehter if thats the case maybe he is letting you know so that he now knows how you feel my ex bf did that when his wife left him for the pizza man...... not a joke it really happened. if not im not sure why he would be calling u to tell u

    Answer by Mommy2Be1212009 at 12:08 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I understand how it was weird for you but I think it says a lot about the kind of relationship you once had. He may have few friends and guys don't cry to other guys usually. Maybe he just really needed someone to listen. It sounds as if the news was brand new to him. If he calls again be gentle in telling him you are uncomfortable.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:11 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • He might not have anyone else to talk to. Since you don't feel like it's appropriate, tell him if he calls again. There is nothing wrong with being there for him during his time of need, which you obviously did because you talked to him in the first place about it but it's not your job to take care of his emotional needs.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 12:12 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Most men aren't going to go literally crying to their guy friends about anything. He must feel like you and him are friends. It's up to you to decide whether to be there for him or not. Personally I'd have to tell him I'm sorry that this has happened to him, that I hope they can work it out, or it works out for them and their children. For your daughters sake, I hope you always maintain a good relationship with him, but I'm with the others, if he cheated on you, then maybe he's trying to tell you that he didn't get it till now how bad it must've hurt you.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:13 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

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