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My daughter and her boyfriend talk about when they get married etc.

he doesn't have a GED and my daughter is in college.I got married at 20 and am sorry I didn't date more. I want her to be able to support herself but not be the sole bread winner .He is her first "real" boyfriend and they are "in love'I would like her to experience life with what she wants to do not what they have to do. she is 18 and he will be 21.anyone have experience on eather side?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (23)
  • When I was 18 I moved in with my 23 year old boyfriend. We were in loooove and we were going to get married and have babies and have a perfect life. Can you sense the sarcasm here? Anyway, it lasted for 11 months, then I called it quits because he was a deadbeat and had no ambition. I was 19 when I moved back home, and I met my now husband three months after I left my ex. I was 20 when we got married and now I'm happier than I ever could have been with El Deuche. Just don't let her marry him just yet; she'll realize it on her own. :)

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 1:56 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • loosen up this is her life and true love will find a way,

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • your daughter will despise you if you put him down or interfere! Let her find out on her own if she made the right choice poor and happy does exist!... yup expect grandbabies!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • you cannot live vicariously through your daughter it is simply not your choice!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • in case I was not heard loud enough... do not make yourself infamous with this couple! If he is a Christian and doesnt beat her let it go!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • It is so hard to sit by and watch us headed toward a disaster. I know, I am experienceing a different type of disaster in the making with one of my sons. I keep telling myself that as long as the action is moral, legal, and not physically dangerous, I have to take a step back.

    Since your daughter is still living with you (I assume) have you ever sat down with her with the family budget? Sometimes, that is an eye opener. Kids just think magically appear around the house. If they insist on getting married, you can't stop her, but you can tell her that in order for you to feel good about helping with the wedding, you would like for them to go through pre marital counseling and to meet with a financial planner. Those folks can say more than you can because you can't put him down....Good luck. I hope she waits to marry.

    Answer by tomatoqueen at 3:54 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • honestly i can see why your worried, your worried about her having to work all the time and him doing nothing... but believe me if he doesn't step it up (especially if a baby comes into the picture) she'll leave him on her own, you don't have to interfere. let her be an adult, you've done all you can at this point.

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 3:56 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I am 29, I have a college degree and I am married to a man without a high school diploma or GED. He supports us while I stay at home and raise our daughter. I love him and we have a wonderful relationship. When I first met him, I thought he was a loser because he didn't have a GED or diploma....but it's not about that...he is SUPER smart...just not educated. However, I have had like 5 boyfriends that I thought I was going to marry. I smartend up on my own but it did take leaving home to figure out the hard way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I met my husband at 16 (right before I turned 17). At 18 we got married. He was 21 when we met, 22 when we got married. We were/are both in college, have 2 kids now and couldn't be happier. He had a few girlfriends before me and seriously dated them. I never seriously dated anyone before I met him. Do I regret it? Not one bit. Not everyone needs to go out and be wild. If they are in love, leave them be. Just because you think they are not in love doesn't make it true. My mother didn't think I was in love with my husband, here we are 5 years later and are as happy as could be.

    Answer by purpleducky at 11:51 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I also wanted to add, my husband is the bread winner here and his job requires no sort of education. He learned everything he needed in the field. He is an assistant meat manager at the number 1 store in his company. He is only going for a few degrees because it can move him up in the company. But the meat manager has a college degree and doesn't use it because it is worthless in the meat industry.

    Answer by purpleducky at 11:53 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

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