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Was your husband upset and angry when you got wasted?

My husband is soo ashamed of me that I was drunk on My 21st birthday, I told him I wouldn't and I did. But My mind set, was just thinking I wouldn't get drunk, but by the end of the night I drink too much! He is telling me he will divorce me, and calling me a whore.

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Hesmynavyman

Asked by Hesmynavyman at 3:15 AM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 18 (4,812 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I was pregnant on my 21st so we celebrated later. I had actually just gotten out of the crisis recovery center and was on a very sedating antidepressant/anti anxiety/schitzophrenia pill and it didn't wake much to knock me WAY over the edge. No, he wasn't pissed, he was very glad we were wasted together! We like to keep up with eachother... which is why someone always watches dd for 24 hrs when we do this!!!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 3:33 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • What?!? Your dh sounds VERY immature, I'm sorry he is treating you in this way. I mean seriously, that has to be (no offense meant towards you) one of the stupidest things to fight about. He's emotionally abusing you cause you had 1 too many on your b-day?!? It's not like you're some raging alcoholic and I'm assuming you aren't showing any signs of being promiscuous or unfaithful. How does getting tipsy 1 night of your life make you a whore? I'm married to a recovering alcoholic...if your dh wants to hear about what a REAL drinking problem is like, I could write him a book.

    Wifey2Watson

    Answer by Wifey2Watson at 3:39 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • If this is a one time thing, and it's not something you do regularly, then I don't think it's something to get divorced over. But, I can see why he's upset - not that you got drunk, but that you told him you weren't going to, and did.

    I see from your signature that you're a Navy wife - I am, too. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I'm guessing, if he wasn't there to say hey, honey, I think you've had enough, that he's deployed? If so, a lot of times when a spouse is deployed, they hear all these horror stories about what their spouses are doing back home. A lot of those horror stories involve going out partying, getting drunk and picking up men or being overly flirty with them, etc. Those stories, added to the stress of the deployment, can sometimes make them over react. (Just like the spouses at home who get freaked out when they don't hear from their mil spouses every day, or whatever).

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:44 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • If this is the case, and, as long as you mean this, I would try telling him something along the lines of "Honey, I'm sorry that I broke my promise to you. It wasn't intentional, and I feel bad that it bothers you so much. I hope you know that I would never be unfaithful to you or do anything to give you any reason to worry. I trust you while you're gone, and I want you to trust me, too."

    If he goes into the drinking on your birthday, explain to him that sometimes we spouses need to blow off a little steam and de-stress sometimes, too, just like the Sailors do, too. But blowing off steam doesn't mean that you're going to do anything wrong. And maybe you can talk with him about ways that BOTH of you could blow off steam and have fun that BOTH of you are comfortable with.

    GL
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:49 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • ummm didn't you just ask a question about not making enough breast milk? why are you getting wasted if you're nursing? don't you know that will affect your milk if you drink enough to get wasted?
    maybe that's why he's mad, because you put your baby's health at risk so you could get drunk on your birthday.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:04 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • a whore because you got drunk? Why can't you lose control of yourself once an a while? I mean you are human, right? Your husband seem too uptight. He needs to take it easy. It's not that your pregnant, right? Sometimes we try to do to please others instead we forget about ourselves in the process. When your husband is more calm sit down and talk with him outside the home at a restaurant or something. Anger will go away, it always does. If you hurt him like this how will be behave when something worse happens? He's hurting you it seems but worse. Don't let him control you, since that's what he doing by the way he's reacting towards you.
    happynewyorker

    Answer by happynewyorker at 4:26 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I do think it's inappropriate for a wife and mother to go out and get wasted and I hate it when I see people saying they get babysitters and such so they can go out and get drunk. It's perfectly possible to have fun without spending a fortune of toxins and taxing your body that way. I haven't had an alcoholic drink in over a decade yet I still manage to have fun with my friends.

    If I were in your shoes I would apologize for my behavior, tell him it won't happen again, and then make sure it doesn't. It can be hard to judge your tolerance if you've never had a drink before but now you know how much is too much and you can stick to a couple when you decide to drink alcohol.
    RhondaVeggie

    Answer by RhondaVeggie at 7:53 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Don't worry about it . You are 21. Not 65. Please he could cut you some slack. It's not like you do it everyday.Next time take Red Bull with coke it tastes like soda or take chaser pills . They sell them in Walgreens . But don't have him take you to the cross. I think those days are so long over.
    bella69147

    Answer by bella69147 at 8:12 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • If you told him you wouldn't get drunk, then you should have had the self control to stop. He shouldn't divorce you over it, but if he had lied to you wouldn't you be upset as well? It may not be the fact that you got drunk, but that you told him one thing and did another.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:55 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • It's like he's never been drunk before, tell him to get his head out of his @$$ and move on about it! Your Husband sounds like a shelf jack@$$
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

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