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why wont she breastfeed?

i just dont get it. my best friend baby is due in november and she has already decided to formula feed. she tried to tell me its because she lazy and doesnt want to have to get up alot at night, but i know that not why because obviosly if you breastfeed you dont have to get up and make a bottle. i tried to tell her its so much healthyer, because her other 2 kids get sick all the time! and she said she tried to breastfeed the first one for a minute but she thought it was awkward and unnatural!?!?she very stubborn so i know i cant change her mind and i dont want to piss her off trying, but i just cant understand why someone wouldnt want to even try to breastfeed. it seems kind of selfish. and she doesnt have alot of money, so why would you feed you baby a $30 can of formula when breastmilk is free? where is the logic behind this?


Asked by mudgirl at 3:58 AM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (16)
  • Because she doesn't want to. End of story.

    I breastfed all of my children and had a VERY difficult time with it, but I did it mainly because of the cost (and because I did like the closeness I felt when feeding). But regardless, it's her decision and you've offered your opinion. She obviously doesn't plan on changing her mind, and that's fine. BUT she can come to you later if she changes her mind and has questions.

    Of course formula feeding is not BETTER for the baby, but the important thing is that she's planning to feed the baby, love it, and care for it. Other than that, you should have no concerns.

    Answer by fluud7 at 8:32 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • its her choice to do whatever she wants.......its no one elses decision except for her own self..i dont get why everyone thinks that if a person doesnt breast feed they are so horrible and blah blah blah ...i have 2 kids and ive never breastfed them and they are perfectly fine and healthy.....and my children could only have soy milk so dont go after me about not breastfeeding....

    Answer by SPC.armywife at 4:28 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • She just doesn't want to breastfeed! You can't change her mind, it's not YOUR baby, she is planning on feeding the baby, what does it matter?! Just because you think it's better doesn't mean it's right for every person!!! Let her be, let her enjoy her newborn... I formula fed without even trying to bf. My choice just like it is hers! And WIC paid for my stuff.. but I made my decision before I knew we qaulified. Then they made me switch formula which I hated but whatever. Just because she wants to formula feed doesn't mean she's a bad mother like you are trying to say she is! She knows what is best for her child, you don't! leave it alone and realize not everyone will breastfeed because you did!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 4:30 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • im not trying to say anybody is a bad mom and i know its your choice, i just want to try to understand why someone would choose this. how can formula be better than breastmilk?

    Answer by mudgirl at 4:44 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • it doesnt matter which one a person uses as long as the baby is eating and staying dd is only 2 months old and shes been on soy milk since she was born and at a month old she was 10 pounds....10 pounds is a pretty healthy baby to i think they are the same they both give the babys what they need...

    Answer by SPC.armywife at 5:01 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • a mother knows what her and her baby can handle. From the start! She has different goals, different ideas, different schedule even. For me personally, my DH was deploying and I wanted him to be a part of as much as he could before he went off and possibly died.
    Some babies don't take to the breast easily, some mothers would rather let the baby cry than deal with breastfeeding! Only a mother can tell the difference of what she should and shouldn't do. For some people an obvious choice is breastfeeding, for others it's cloth diapering, and still others it's allowing them to adjust to . She has her own reasons as to why she chooses formula... it might not be scientifically better than breastmilk but maybe for her situation it is better in the end. Nobody can truly understand anyone else reasoning... ever! We just need to accept their decisions.
    Sorry if I came off rude, I misunderstood a little I guess!

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 5:06 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • If I had to guess, I would say because she didn't have a good experience with breastfeeding in the past and doesn't want to have to deal with possibly having the same problems. You can try asking her what happened with her child she tried to breastfeed. Sometimes moms feel uncomfortable breastfeeding for one reason or another, talking to her about her feelings may help. A little understanding goes a long way, and listening is one of the best tools.

    Answer by Daynaof3 at 5:43 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • It doesn't have to be logical - it's her body, her baby, her choice. Leave it alone or prepare to cause damage between you and your friend. If I were her, I'd tell you that while I might appreciate your opinion when I ask for it - there are some things that I don't want or need your opinion on.
    I'm not trying to be mean, and I don't mean it that way - I'm just giving you my honest opinion.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 6:13 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • She's selfish. It's sad & she'll have a lot more work and heartache ahead of her. Too bad for baby. At least you tried to talk some sense into her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • She even said it herself, she is lazy. She is also very selfish to put her needs before babies lifelong platform for health. It is a sad story that is repeated time and time again. Hopefully one day WIC will stop providing the fourth best option for baby, formula, for free and people will actually have to do what is best for baby.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Sep. 21, 2009