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What do you say to your teen when they're negative to most everything you say?

My dd, 15, acts embarrassed of my dh, my ds, 11, and me and lashes out at times w/nastiness..."ugh, Dad, just be quiet", or the eye roll, or a shove to the brother or even the slamming of the door. Sometimes it's just that she'd like to spend the day doing nothing, but I try to encourage her to go outside on a beautiful day and don't allow TV or computer which is met w/mostly grumpiness. We feel that she's pretty lazy sometimes and tired and I just told her the TV will be off earlier than usual and if she slams the door again, it's coming off the hinges.
She won't talk about her bitchiness except to say, "you're making a big deal out of nothing". Do I just ignore her and leave her alone until she comes out of it? I don't want her to think it's OK. Anyone have any suggestions counter suggestive teen?

Answer Question
 
dflygirl7

Asked by dflygirl7 at 9:38 AM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I always respected my kids when they wanted to be alone but it creates a bad habit of not socializing. It's normal but I think it can lead to depression and problems. Just ignore the attitude (that goes with the teen territory) but keep inviting her to join you and the family for whatever you are doing. That's what I did and sometimes they go and sometimes they don't. Mine turned out ok. They do get better about age 17 (my experience with 3 kids and 3 teen grandkids)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:44 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Let her be, as long as she is not being disrespectful in any way, this will pass, just keep it under control.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:45 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • WOW I think you have my little sister living at your house. I just want to slap her somedays she is so rude and thinks she knows it all my mom just takes all her cell phone from her and ignores her. My sister just hangs out in her room until she loses her attitude. Like yesturday she hung up on my mom 3 times bc my mom told her she would go next sunday to take her homecoming dress shopping and she want to go today and mom is like you are just not going at all now, but my little sister is a only child living at home so she usually gets her way. dont give in.
    ggiovanni

    Answer by ggiovanni at 10:09 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • OMG, MY DAUGHTER IS 13 drives me nuts, but that is why she has no clothes, except her school uniforms, she needs to slow down a little. I taught her to be kind, and respectful, you don't lose it with other people don't lost it with me. :)

    Attitude I expect, she knows she been going over board with me her mom, and her dad, I have to nip it in the bud.

    It is one thing to have an attitude, and another to be disrespectful to the adults. I am still learning, but finally figured it out, she can control it. And she is learning to do just that. :)

    Good luck!! and keep praying for me.

    It must be the age though.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:52 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • IGNORE her. Tell her that if she wants to be treated with respect, then she has to give respect too. She gets nothing when she is disrespectful. Do NOT wash her clothes, cook for her, etc. Let her do it herself.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:27 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I find letting the teen make the rules helps. Let me explain... She's lazy, she wastes time, she's rude, she slams doors, she makes disrespectful gestures. Catch her at a "good moment" and tell her that you really enjoy her company when she's behaving maturely. Then go further and address one or two of the topics that you most want changed. Ask HER how many hours of screen time (TV, computer, games - all included) is reasonalbe per day. (Then you guide her number down, e.g. "You really think it's healthy to watch a screen more hours than you sleep?") Ask her what she thinks people think of her when she rolls her eyes. (immaturity, defiance, disfunction in the family,...) Does she care? Is that what she wants to project? Finally, ask her what she thinks is reasonable punishment for her actions. I expect your conversation will be very enlightening for you both. (oh, and you still have final say no matter what her rules would be)
    cutiemoose

    Answer by cutiemoose at 9:20 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

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