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How can I stop my 2 year old from beating up on my 3 year old?

I work nights, so my kids are pretty much my alarm clock in the mornings. They share a room right now, because that's all our home allows. For about the last week, I've been woken up by my 3 year old son screaming because his 2 year old sister is hitting him, pinching him, and pulling his hair. They go to daycare, so I'm sure this is where some of the behavior is learned, but how do I break the behavior? My son is miserable...

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Asked by dearissues at 11:09 AM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • letting your 3 year old wallop her back lol

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:14 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • my kids dont go to day care but my 2 yr is always beating on her bothers ages 6 and 4 esp the 4 yr old...we put her in time out and tell her thats not nice to beat up her big brothers and we tell the boys if she starts to walk away for 2 reason we dont want them to think its ever ok to hit a girl and for 2 she does it to make them oldest has gotten good about ignoring her when she does it and she doesnt pick on him as much...

    Answer by bonnie-jo at 11:20 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Focus on emotions first. Emotional containment is a priority here. Get kids to calm down before you help them work their problems. This may mean they sit for a while on their own or go outside and let off steam physically. Once emotions are contained then you can get down to business.Focus on the problem not the fight. Kids will want parents to punish their sibling for beginning a dispute or infringing on their rights. Drill down onto the issue (e.g. a better way of watching TV, sharing toys or whatever) and focus on resolving that. Direct children to focus on the issue not the fight.Listen to their story. Kids generally want to be heard so listen to their side of the story and again, try focusing on how they feel about it. Give their emotions a name or label. “It sounds like you are pretty angry about it. Would I be right?”

    Answer by JoyandLove at 11:22 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Sometimes this is enough to get a resolution to an issue. “Okay you can play with my old toys but I don’t want you playing with my new toys for a while. They’re special.” “Okay.”State the problem as you see it. When kids are stuck tell the problem as you see it. Try to develop a sense of ‘other’ here by showing how a child’s behaviour affected his or her sibling, without using shaming or blaming. If you can brainstorm a solution so be it. Otherwise they can agree to disagree and stay clear of each other.Restore the relationship

    Answer by JoyandLove at 11:22 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Children behave a way by learning from others, you should ask at the day care how your daughter treats her brother. Maybe someone is hurting your son or daughter. Could you someone be hurting your daughter and you don't know about it. It seems that your daughter is releasing so sort of anger or hate against her brother. You need to do lots of investigating work, to find out why your daughter is behaving this way. You need to nip it in the butt. Give her time out, when she hits her brother. Talk to your daughter and son. I would visit the day care at different times to see what's happening. You need to find out why she's behaving this way.

    Answer by happynewyorker at 11:24 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I think its the age she is at "terrible two's" my DD is the same way..she is 2 and her brother is 3 they are exactly one year apart. She is the little bully,and has an attitude from hell lol. Love her to death, but she can be very mean, she also like to hit my 11 year old DD. I just make sure to always let her know that those are her bro and sis and she needs to love them. I know how you feel though...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • No 2yo is ever going to connect hurting with anything they did a minute ago... 'cause and effect' thinking is called concrete operations, and brains develop the ability to understand that at around 7. Years.

    If your kids are always waking before you, they're probably in bed too early for your schedule. If you want to stay up as late as you do, you'll need to push their bedtimes back so they're not waking up so much ahead of you that they get bored and start looking for ways of getting you up (which is what is happening now).

    Answer by LindaClement at 12:56 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

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