Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Deciding custody out of court...

I'm leaving my husband but neither of us want to go to court to establish custody. We don't want to put the kids through that. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I can trust him to uphold a custody agreement made outside the legal system. My question is, if we decide on a custody arrangement and I write it up and we have it notarized, is he legally bound to uphold it? I live in PA if that matters.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • Ifyou write it up and you both agree, even if it is notorized, it still has to be looked over by the judge in your divorce hearing.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:50 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • You living in PA matters greatly.

    Getting a custody aggreement through courts, does not mean that you children need be involved.
    Depending on their ages and the laws in your state.

    If you feel that you can not work with him, I feel going through the courts is your best bet.
    The childsupport (if this applys in your state) will be deducted right out of his pay.
    How about a mediator...
    There are many more issues when divorcing when children are involved.
    Medial care, extra activites, parenting time, holidays, birthdays, life insurance...
    the list goes on and on..

    To answer your question about it being notorized and holding up in a court of law..
    You can make appointments with lawyers and get the consultation free, this way you
    can see all that is involved with the divorce process.

    Educate yourself on line. Listen to people who have already walked that walk.

    Answer by Dannee at 11:50 AM on Sep. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.