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HELP ME!! MY HOUSE IS FALLING DOWN AROUND ME... AND SO IS MY FAMILY....

I was laid off last November, and went back to school, gained my CNA, and am now working 2nd shift in a retirement / nursing facility. (In the factory, I worked 6am til 2pm first shift) Now I hardley even see my kids, except when they are leaving for school in the mornings. (they're all teenagers and 1 pre-teen) I'm not home in the evenings, so I can't monitor things that take place. I know my husband isn't cooking dinner for them like he should. I know they're not going to bed at a decent hour. And he's figured out that he can say "yes" to whatever, and it's just much easier. My house is a mess. I'm embarresed of it! While I still have Sat and Sun off, I don't feel like I should have to spend it picking up behind everybody else. Dishes piled in the sink, laundry every where... It all happens b/c I'm not here; or at least that's how I feel. I have to pick up overtime, when / where I can, b/c I'm not making the money I made b4

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Your family is old enough to know to pitch-in and help. Have you done it all for all these years? Oops.  Shoulda started long time ago.


    My 2 year old had to put his clothes in the laundry room and clean up the house. He learned to cook and at 14, he's a great asset in the house! Peace and Love

    ironkitten

    Answer by ironkitten at 12:37 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • How about giving the kids the responsibility of cleaning up after themselves? They are old enough. Rules in the house are if you clean up the house thru the week then you don't have to spend the weekend cleaning it and can run with your friends. That way once the weekend comes, if DH doesn't grow a backbone, you will be there. BUT Dh and you need to have a serious talk as he still needs to be a father when you aren't there. The sooner he learns that NO repeated several times will stop them asking, the sooner you will have peace.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:37 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Is your DH working? If not then i think you need to talk with him about what is expected. If you are working, and he is not, then that means the traditional roles have switched and he needs to step up the plate. Also, it sounds like those kids need to give a helping hand. They're all old enough to take on a cook night. They can make up a menu and each one cooks dinner one night a week. if you have 3 kids then that is 3 nights a week that DH does not have to cook.
    There are lots of ways to fix this problem. you need to sit down as a family and work things out. TALK dont fight. remember to start your sentences with I FEEL. ..."i feel overwhelmed when i come home from a hard day at work and the house is messy". you're not accusing anyone but you're still getting your point across. GL
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:39 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Put something in a crock pot for the kids to have a healthy meal. Not sure what to say about the house. My mom would have come home from work and thrown everything that was laying down in the garbage. My mom didn't play. She said "if you want to keep it then put it away or at least in your own room". She never wavered on that either. She didn't care how much it cost or how new it was.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:47 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

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