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Is this appropriate???

I live with my boyfriend we have been living together for 3 years and I have started to take him to church with me and the kids, the church is conserative, the pastor will not marry a couple living together. I go there because I was raised in that church. Is it appropriate that I bring him to church everyone knows anyway. And at christmas it appropriate to sign the cards "Merry Christmas from the my first and last name and his first and last family and children. We can not get married due to financial issues.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (17)
  • I think that this issue is between you and God and not a pastor or community. If you want to get married, there is always a justice of the peace if the pastor will not do it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:18 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Whoops, forgot to actually answer, LOL...I think that you should do whatever is in your heart as God knows what it feels and if it is pure. If you feel like a family, then sign like a family...as for going to church, you should feel proud that a man that is not married to you, cares enough to go with you to a church that may look down on it. The church could take a few lessons from you on that.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:21 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I go to a pretty conservative church, and we won't marry a couple that is living together. We haave a whole premaritial process that includes counciling as well as accountability. We require couples that get married at our church to both be Christian and sexually pure. What the ministry will usually tell couples that want to work towards marriage, is that they need to have one person move out until the wedding or go to the justice of the peace and get officially married and then they can save up and and still live together while they are waiting for a church wedding.

    One of my best friends was living with her bf and they couldn't afford to move out, before the wedding. The had gotten right with God and they were abstaining from sex; they wanted to get married in our church (so they chose to go to the justice of the peace first). It happens. Sometimes you can't just move out.
    Cinnamon-mom

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 1:22 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Go to city hall and get married, my dh and I did it for $35. All that is important is that you get married and that you love eachother. Then maybe you'll feel better about taking him to your church.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • op here---no i will not get married legally because it will mess up my finances, I am the sole provider for my kids and I can not take the chance so is it appropriate to sign cards like that or should i pretend no one knows we are living together, even though everyone knows
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • i think you are waaay too worried about what others think
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Somebody needs to let your pastor in the secret that even if people aren't living together, there is no guarantee that they aren't having sex.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Do the right thing and get married. God will bless you for wanting to do what pleases the Lord. I don't understand why someone would have to move out first. That's just some kind of superstitious reasoning. Living together but obstaining from sex till the marriage day is what is important in showing that you want to do right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • so you only care what others think and not so much what the lord thinks. i think it should be the other way around where you care about what the lord thinks of you and not others. as of they don't live without sin. just cause you don't see them like yours doesn't mean they don't have any in their homes. there could be abuse, drug or alcolhol addiction, etc. i still don't see how your finances would get screwed up. maybe your on the system and you think you might loose some due to marriage. i don't know if that is true in every state but it isn't here. if anything it would hurt his finances having to care for you and your kids since you say your the sole provider. i think he should help pay for your kids if your living together. sign the cards anyway you want and i would suggest you stop caring what others think and what examlpe your setting for your children and worry about what the lord would have you do.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:19 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • My advice - find a church that will accept the two of you as you are. If you don't want to do that I would suggest you get used to being the "odd couple" for a while. As for Christmas cards, why wouldn't it be okay to sign them that way? But if you find it odd just sign with everyone's first names only. You don't need last names, chances are if you are sending them a card, they know the situation though.

    Best of luck!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:21 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

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