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My stepson and his habits.

I love my stepson dearly. He's such a sweet kid but has some weird habits. I know at his moms house, she has no rules or bedtimes! So when he comes here, of course he wants to get away with murder. Well when I get on to him, recently he has started banging his head against the wall, the floor, or the furniture! I had to send him to his room for doing it because I was scared he'd hurt himself. He also has this habit of twisting his hair! It's gotten so bad because he constantly does it that his hair gets tied around his finger or gets so bad in a knot that we have to cut his finger out of it! And I've noticed that when his hand isn't up in his hair twisting, that he's grabbing on himself. I've said, "Stop doing that," a million times this weekend and I just wonder is this at all normal? The BM doesn't care enough and I think my husband thinks it's completely normal. What can I do to get him some help?

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Asked by PeytonsMom21109 at 3:13 PM on Sep. 21, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • The banging his head part I would consider normal, part of a tantrum at not getting his way. My sons used to do that, and I know some friends of mine have had kids that did it. The hair twisting....I don't know if that is normal or not. Might just be a quirk, I tend to twirl my hair around my fingers when I'm bored. The grabbing himself is the one that I find odd. My sons are old enough now that they do the "adjusting" thing that all men seem to do. But it's not a constant thing, just occasional, and not something they do when they are in trouble or upset or anything. Just kind of...well, like I said, adjusting. Is there anyway your hubby can take him to the dr and talk to the dr about it? I don't know what kind of custody you guys have, that's why I ask. The dr would be my first step, if the dr doesn't think it's normal, then you can take the next steps from there. Otherwise, hubby needs to confront mom and find out what's up

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:18 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I asked him to confront her and just see what was happening. His idea of doing that was.. " Has anything happened recently," her reply was no and of course.. It was the end of it. They don't get along at all so it makes things difficult. He thinks it's normal .. or thinks that all boys do that and I'll admit that I don't have a LOT of time with other little boys, but I just don't think it's all that normal. and I'm worried for him that something might be going on.

    Answer by PeytonsMom21109 at 3:22 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • My ss also has some of the same issues. As the step mom you can't do anything medically without permission from dad. I had to get hubby to see what I saw and then he made drs appts. SS is now seeing a therapist twice a month. He has a lot of problems and mom won't do anything the drs say to do. We do what we can to try and help SS. You can try and help but without the fathers permission you can't do anything. Talk to hubby. Get info online about the behaviors not being normal and show him. Try talking to a pediatrician to just get info on the behaviors and talk to hubby. He has to give permission for a dr to see his son and treat him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • He may have a wide range of behavioral problems. ADHD or something alogn those lines.

    Or it may be more serious because it is set off by certain things; Asperger's Syndrome or a form of Autism could also do this. I'd get some information on all of these conditions and pay close attention for more symptoms.

    Answer by zeroblivion at 2:18 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • amybe ask him why he does those sorts of things. What his mom says when he does them. Find something contructive for him to do.. drawing?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • THE FATHER HAS TO BE AROUND KIDS HIS AGE, TO REALIZE wait my son is being in appropriate. You can only pray he will recognize and get him help before his habits destroy your home. Your kids will eventually follow in his foot steps and you don't want that. Explain to the father. Good luck.

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:40 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

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