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We are separated but I can't decide whether to file or not...

I am a young mom and I have a little boy who is almost a year. His father is still in my sons picture but not really mine any more. We are all working really well on splitting him between the houses fairly and keeping it even. Right now I dont need the support and I dont really think I ever will. and I am too good of friends with the rest of his family. They are having a really rough time right now financially and I cant take any money from them morally. Am I really thinking this through the way I should? I dont really need child support so do I really need custody? Just wondering... Thanks!

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Asked by Mamakat90 at 5:00 PM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • This is NOT about if you need the money or not. It's about him being responsible. Child support can be put in an account for the child. Save it for when he grows up and wants a car or college.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:12 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • if you're legally married, and separated.... both of you have equal custody rights until that is decided by a judge. if ANYTHING were to change in your situation, anything- even though your friendship/relationship with the rest of the family seems wonderful at the moment, you know as well as i do, that those things can change.
    IF he decided to take your son, you have NO LEGAL RECOURSE until custody has been determined. *disclaimer* because i KNOW someone will have something to say about that- if he went into hiding, and refused to let you know where your son was, then an amber alert could be issued. but until that point, you would have no way to get your son back without force. the police can not get involved unless A) child in in physical danger, or the threat there of. B) you have an enforceable custody order.

    this happened to me last year when i went through my separation... it took me four months to get my son back.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:14 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • as for child support- unless you are on state/federal assistance, you can willingly "share" custody, so that he does not have to pay support, and the child would spend a pretty much equal amount of time with the both of you.
    at any point you can terminate child support unless it has been ordered because you are receiving state/federal assistance... you can also request that it be lowered, rather than stopped all together.

    as for 'moral convictions'.... he is the father, and equally responsible for his child, even if he is having a rough financial time. even if you did not use that money, you could put in into a high interest account and have your sons college tuition by the time he needed it.

    you asked, theres my opinion.

    just went through separation/custody/divorce proceedings... its not fun, or easy. i wish you luck through it all

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:18 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • If you can work it out. Do your best to try to. It wrecks havic on children.. Been there done that.

    Answer by catherine595 at 5:26 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

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