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I am starting to dread my daughter.

I am starting to dread my daughter. She is 15 months old and so incredibly attached to me. It seems like the more she wants me, the more I want to get away. And the more I want to get away, the more she wants me. I dread her waking up, I dread her seeing me, and I dread getting by her. I feel so guilty, but I have alot to do during the day and I can't hold her as much as she would like. I have other kids that need me too. Has anyone else felt this way?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • Wow, not quite at that age. That is a very important age to give them the attention they need.

    I didn't start feeling like that until recently with my daughter- she is 25 with 2 kids and single though.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 5:36 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • That feeling lasted for about a week for me. Like you are doing now, I called my step mommy and asked her about it. She said to be thankful because they won't always want you around. I don't know why something so simple impacted me but it did. Suddenly I was heartbroken that there will be a time when she pulls away from me. Now, I cherish it. I still can't always hold her when she wants but because I pay more attention to her needs, she isn't as needy, lol.
    Katrina3016

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 5:38 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • She seems to be picking up your feelings. Don't do this to her. She won't e like this forever and then you'll live in regret.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:42 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Sure - there's a difference between having a baby in your belly and having a 15 pound toddle attached to your shin while you try to clean the toilets, or unload the dishwasher, or chop onions for dinner. Maybe it's time to start discovery school. A couple of hours a couple of times a week - or a mother's day out program, just once a week. Part of her clinginess is coming from her sensing your discomfort. She doesn't know what it is - but just like babies that cry when their mom cries they sense something and it draws them to you. On top of that, you need a break from baby for a half a day or something, so you're taking it much harder right now than you normally would. IT doesn't mean you're a bad mom - it means you're a devoted mom. The best thing you can do for yourself and baby sometimes, is to recognize when you need a moment away from each other. Guarantee you by the end of just 1 half day away - you'll be missing her bad
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 5:43 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • What you are feeling is normal. The common advice is to spend more me time, get away from her, put her in day care, ect.

    What can work when you feel most like pushing away is pulling closer. She is picking up on your feelings. If you relax, try to forget about other life stuff, and pull her closer she may not need to cling to you.

    Get some kind of baby carrier. I know it's hot and she is heavy. Think of the women in Africa that carry their 3 year old and all the water their family needs for the day 2 miles back to their village. There are lots of carriers for toddlers. I weighed less than 100 pounds and could carry my small for his age 3 year old on hikes in a sling.

    Try doing relaxation exercises and meditation.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 5:44 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • How negative, what a mom!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Take GailllAZ s advice. wake up tomarrow with a good attitude, do things to entertain the little one. make her happy, I guarentee you will at least feel better. I ve been going through that with my 10 month old ever since he was born. The last two weeks have been trechorous. But today..well my friendly approach worked. Makes her laugh, be silly, enjoy the time with her. GOOD LUCK!
    Amberoz

    Answer by Amberoz at 1:30 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • She is obviously catching on to you. Don't be that way with her, you will give her serious rejection issues as she gets old in life. Give her the attention she needs and eventually this will stop. Just by stopping what you are doing for 5 min. to play with her and give her some attention will make things better. Really think about the long term damage that you could do to her self esteem if you continue to do what you are doing. Other things around the house can wait and I'm sure that you have enough time to give to all of your children. What you're feeling is normal, that's why when your hubby gets home you need to take off by yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Isn't it amazing how just as they get their independence and mobility of being able to walk and run, they suddenly are afraid of it and begin to cling to us? That is what it sounds like here. She just needs some reassurance that Mommy is there if she needs her. When she gets like this, scoop her up and give her a quick little lovey, tickle session holding her close and smiling yourself. Then provide her with something she likes to do to distract her. You will be reinforcing that a) you are there for her b) she will be fine without you holding her c) there is fun stuff to do and explore without clinging to Mommy's leg. I had to put away the toys at this age and have only a few out at a time. It seemed like DS was overwhelmed and didn't play with any of them when they were all out. Also, if she has a favorite bear or doll, make sure it is handy for her to love on. You are not the only one and it DOES NOT make you a bad Mom!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 7:09 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

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