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How would you react to come home and find out that your 16 year old son was not watching his sister but having sex with his girlfriend instead?

Because my 16 year old son watches my 8 year old daughter until either my husband or myself get home from work. And i got home today and noticed my daughter was just sitting in front of the tv not being watched by my son. So i started calling for him and no answer and so i went upstairs to his room to see why he was not watching his little sister. And i walked in on him and his girlfriend having sex. Which was shocking to say the least because i did not even think my son was sexually active or anything. And lets just say they were both very very embarrassed about it i have been thinking about calling his girlfriends mom and talking to her about it. But i am not even sure what to do with my son at this point. I want to talk to him about it but i do not know how to even start. I think i should just wait for DH to get home but i am not sure. Advice?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • As the mother of a16 yo girl who has a 16 yo bf, I would hope I am the first call his parents make. PLEASE call her parents. This isn't about them getting grounded or in trouble this is making sure they are safe and smart. How you and her parents handle this is your call, but hopefully this isn't the first conversation or the last. It is the hardest conversation I had with my girl, but I feel the most important. We as parents can't really stop them from doing anything , they will find a way, but we can be there to pick up the pieces and make sure they are safe. As for not watching his sister, well, that is worth a grounding!! That will by some time to figure out the next step.
    Good luck.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 12:55 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Honestly, I think that you FOUR should have a conversation (four parents, you guys and her parents right?) regarding your kids, rules and regulations and the obvious birth control. I would be very upset, but probably not surprised. Kids seem to be doing things like this earlier and earlier. Good Luck!

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 7:19 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Well, you better get that boy some condoms because sense he's already started having sex chances are he's not going to stop.
    Yes, i probably would call the girlfriends parents and let them know what happened. How they choose to handle that is up to them.
    And as far as not watching the young girl. ...grounded! it's not the point that he was having sex ...he could've been doing anything, but if he's not watching his sister then that's a big problem. What if someone tried to break in? what if a stranger knocked on the door? so many possibilities.
    Tv would be gone, phones would be gone, internet GONE. no friends. no anything for a week. (or a weekend depending on ...whatever).

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I would tell the girlfriends mom if she found out and knew you knew about it and didn't tell her she would think your ok with this you need to let her know your not ok with it and she shouldn't be over unless your home and she should know what time you do get home if she does wanna come over (the girlfriend)

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Well first I'd apologize for beating him with a broom while he was naked. Then I've sit down with her parents and have a little conversation about the inappropriateness of sexual activity at that age AND with a child in the house AND in your parents house.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 7:24 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • The girls mom needs to know, she needs to make sure that if her daughter continues this behaviour she has bc and uses it. and what happens if in a few weeks, she's pregnant cause they didn't use bc? At least her mom would have a heads up... As for your son, I have no clue how to handle that one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • First, take a deep breath and make no decision when you are in shock and upset. I would tell my son we would talk after his Dad gets home and we can all discuss it together. First off he would be majorly grounded, loss of phone, TV and computer for violating the rules of our home.( No friends over when we aren't home, he was supposed to be babysitting, and no minors sex in my home.) As for the teens having the sex your son needs an appt so he can be tested for STD's. Birth contriol and safe sex have to be addressed. The girlfriends parents would be getting a call from me saying at such and such a time I came home and walked in on them in the act in my home...I thought you needed to know. I would also tell them from this point on she cannot be at your home until you or Dad are home. Flipping out will only make it worse. Approach it calmly and stick to your guns. It's tough, I know. I walked in on my oldest when he was 17.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:34 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • Ask him that if this was the first time, did he use any protection? Did he know about all the consequences the sex bring? Tell him you're going to talk to the girl's parent so be prepared what will happen. He sure has to be grounded for a couple weeks for being responsible to not watch his sister instead of doing something else. Hope you three will have a good conversation tonight. Keep us posted!

    Answer by ocsosomom at 7:34 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • BTW, good luck!

    Answer by ocsosomom at 7:35 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • i wouldn't be as upset about the sex as the not watching the sister. yes, it's shocking, but sixteen is the average age i think for kids to become sexually active. but, if he's doing that instead of handling his other responsibilities, that's a major problem. as for calling the girls' parents, i'm not sure how i would handle that. my parent's were very big on parents being home when i was younger and they would call my friends houses to make sure someone was there. if they don't care enough to make sure there's supervision, do they really care if she's having sex?

    Answer by r_elizabeth2290 at 7:43 PM on Sep. 21, 2009