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Advice on custody?

I have a 3 year old daughter. My ex boyfriend from high school is the father and we were never married and never been to court for custody and he doesnt pay child support however he did sign the birth certificate so she does have his last name. He went to jail for 5 felony charges for the first 15 months of our daughters life when he got out i let him see her i just found out that he is doing drugs and i dont want him around her. Do i have to let him see her or would he have to take me to court first? I live in Tennessee.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Sep. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • No you don't have to let him see her while is abusing drugs and doing things that are not in the best interest of your child. If he takes you to court him doing 15 months for 5 felony charges will not look good on his part and he will not get custody although he may be granted visitation and you can request that it be supervised visitation by yourself or grandparents or even social services can have some one supervise visitation. I wouldn't worry about it right now, don't let him see the baby and in the mean time get a notebook and document everything with dates and times of these events like if he calls you while he's drunk or high and what he said, or if he shows up drunk or high at your door or if he threatens you or is doing criminal activity again and you can also record conversations that you are apart of. Put him on speaker phone and use a hand held recorder and record him if he's drunk or high or talking shit


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • If you have a visitation schedule, then you don't have to let him but it's sticky since his name is on the certificate. I'd call legal aid to see what they recommend

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:24 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • If there are no court papers, then no, but he could take her out of school or day care by proving that he's on the bc. and disappear with her. So I would go ahead and get some legal paper work going on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I live in TN and we have been through this with my oldest son (he is technically my stepson). His mother got hooked on meth and wanted to try to see him. We went and talked to a lawyer and went to court where we had witnesses who said they have seen her do the drugs. They made her take a drug test and when it came up positive they revoked her visitation untill she got clean. Well now she is in Prison. You need to contact a lawyer to start everything and try to get some people who will back you up that he is doing drugs.

    Answer by Juggalette0327 at 9:27 PM on Sep. 21, 2009

  • I am a foster parent, and a judge Will Not stripped a parent of his rights because of drugs,because it is the courts wishes that the parent become clean,also if they took all the kids away that had junkies for parents,where would they put the kids.You do need to go to the courts for support,and at that time you need to speak of his drug use. Most,of the time,they will help the parent get clean,also,they will give him supervised visit meaning someone who the judge acquire to supervise the visit,sorry unless he says so,you are not allowed at these visits,most supervised visits are for 2 hours once a week.In all cases,everything is not the same,but I don't want you to walk in the courtroom thinking he is inferior because he is on drugs, I have seen the courts clean up alot of people for the kids sakes. Good luck.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Sep. 21, 2009