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I'm having an affair.....

So i need to come clean... Let me start from the begining; i am a christian woman who once had high standards and morals for myself. I have been married for 5 years and have two childeren. My husband and I have a great relationship NOW..about two years into the marriage everything starting getting sour, the intimacy was not there (I am talking a year or so without it, except once to concieve my daughter). So i started feeling completely alone in this world and lost and unsure of everything i once knew. So one night his dad came over (while my husband was out of town) to borrow the air compressor; and we were talking and i broke down. We ended up talking for hours and thats how the affair started. (he is divorced). Ever since my married sex has been AMAZING same with relationship. I dont want to end the affair afraid of what will happen to our marriage. Real advice NOT judgement.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:41 AM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • hey! i give you props for coming out clean! but u need to do what u think is best for you. I dont think you should have done it nor would i ever do it but its what made u happy at the time and thats what matters. Think about ur children as well but u need to make urself happy. I think u should cut off the affair though and try to spice up ur relationship and keep it that way. goodluck! take care and i know u will choose whats best for you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • i did have an affair in the past, an i also am a Christian, now i truly regret it and won't ever do it again, i honestly was getting spiritually sick, and also physically i felt anxious and really nervous about getting caught, that i always had nausea, i felt dead inside, trust me when i decided to break that affair i felt such a relief and asked God for forgiveness, it took me some time to forgive myself, but now i am free!! please stop now that you have time, because later you could either get caught and things could get worse, or it is just going to be harder to break that off! :) you can do it, trust me, this are times where the enemy is attacking marriages like never before! and mine is not the exception, i was about to divorce my hubby too, but i prayed and believe, now i even told my husband that i feel so in love at him as when we were dating, his response is probably not the best i wished but still God has been CONT..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Please stop giving Christians a bad name.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • working in me, and now my desires are truly for my husband, and my husband is also seeing my change, God is working now his promises on our lives, months ago i was even mad at God for "not doing anything" about my desperate prayers. go to God and talk to him i am sure he will give you the answers and the desires of your heart! hugs your way i know exactly how you feel!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I wouldn't tell your dh. Now usually I am all for honesty. But you had an affair with his FATHER! Not only could it ruin your relationship with your dh, but your kids and your dh and your dh and his father. Your poor hubby would feel so isolated and alone. Stop the affair, come clean with God and take it to the grave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • anon 1:02, just because we are Christians does not mean we are not tempted or make mistakes, actually this was the biggest mistake in my life, but this has made me stronger and now value my marriage more than ever, and i know this will be later on a testimony to help many women that have marriage problems, you have no need to carry any shame for mistakes that Christian people do, give God thanks for having a wonderful marriage you have, Blessings.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • anonymous you shouldnt be so judgmental! She is not giving all Christians a bad name! people do things and learn from them!
    My sister used to do drugs, got her kids taken away,husband divorced her and everything and she is a christian but she got her self together! she has the kids back shes seeing her ex husband again and going to church again and sober! people change and some times just need motivation to get the help!
    be more mature then that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • You seem like such a sweet lady. I apologize for being so rude in my comment. That was uncalled for. I hope everything turns out fine. I just hope DH never finds out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Maybe its just me but i think you should have tried to at least fix what was wrong in your marriage in the first place instead of sleeping with his DAD! That is absolutely NOT acceptable and totally disgusting!!! That is your childeren's GRANDFATHER!!! There is NO excuse and no "Good" reason to ever do something like that to someone you "love". You need therapy!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • It isn't outside of the natural human response to be attracted to someone that is showing you positive attention, or otherwise making you feel "good" in their company.You have a commitment with your DH, and your religious convictions that is now making you feel guilty and ashamed. I am sorry that you are in this situation. Imagine that your DH will find out...How do you want him to hear the news? Do you want him to hear from you? From his father? Even though you may have told NO ONE, there is no guarantee that your lover has not, so there may be other people that know. There may even be someone that doesn't know, but has suspicions and would be okay confering with your DH regarding them. There is no way to not discuss the severe betrayal your DH will feel, his wife and his father have broken what is supposed to be infallable trust are you sure that is something you want to continue to be a part of? I wish you the best luck
    Cheapsk8mom

    Answer by Cheapsk8mom at 5:34 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

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