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my sil is getting married on friday.. im nt invited. thats ok we dont get along

LONG STORY..but my dh and son who is two will be going to the wedding on. friday without me .. which i Dont have problem with..AT ALL .. but my INLAWS want my ds to go to the reherseal dinner wed. and be the the little ring man.. i said no.. he going to the wedding friday without me.. and thats cool .. but to be in the wedding no thank u.. am i wrong. i thought i was being some what far.. bc im not going to the wedding.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:01 AM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • no your so not wrong to do that, you have a right to say no. Your allowing hiim to go to the wedding thats the best she gets! I cant believe ur not invited! thats so inmature! im sorry!
    Id make my husband stay home with me as well even though that would be horrible on my part
    You are being far, hold to it!
    best wishes!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • yeah i would agree with anon.....i wouldnt let my husband go either and i would of answered no to not letting my child be in the wedding as well if i was in your shoes...and i thought i was the only one that had problems with my inlaws.......best of luck..hope things get better your way with your sil
    SPC.armywife

    Answer by SPC.armywife at 4:29 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I think you are being more than understanding with them going and you not, so no I don't think saying no that your son can't be ring bearer is at all unreasonable.
    rhianna1708

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 4:40 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I think its very strange that she would say your Dh and DS could go but not you. But I really dont see anything wrong with your son being the ring bearer.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 6:58 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I agree. I would say ABSOLUTELY NOT to him being a ring bearer. I think you're being very understanding and classy about them going without you. It's considered rude to invite 1/2 of a married couple to a wedding. Even if it was, say, a co-worker and you didn't know them, it's considered rude, and for it to be a family member, whether you get along or not, to invite your dh and NOT you is VERY rude. (I'm assuming you aren't invited because you don't get along, NOT because you would make a scene or anything....)

    Honestly, your dh should have refused the invitation to begin with. He should've said I'm sorry, but I don't choose to go places my wife is not welcome. Would you want to come to something like this for me if your soon to be dh wasn't invited? Also, ask his parents how they would have felt, if ONE of them was invited to your (or anyone's) wedding.

    You're being classy and generous, they're pushing their luck!!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:02 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • btw - I can see, maybe, if the relationship is that bad between you and her, and if she doesn't want you there and you don't want to be there, maybe your dh going without you. But honestly, I think I would have said that at 3, you don't think he's really old enough for weddings, and that since you aren't going to be there to make sure that he doesn't get over tired or over stimulated and cause a disturbance, your ds will be staying home with you.

    Believe me, he's not going to remember missing it, or anything like that. That way, your dh can go see his sister married if he want's, but honestly, why have your ds there - and as ring bearer no less - if you AREN'T - unless it's to just emphasize that you aren't there / weren't invited?

    Sounds like your inlaws are sooooo classy to me....
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:06 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

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