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what do I do? no bashing, just help please

I think my husband has cheated on me. And is possibly going to do it again. Not sure to what extent it has gone, or even how much of this mess I should believe. His ex wife told me that while we were apart for a couple months last year (relocating, long story but I had to wait to come out here) he went out on dates, and said that as long as he didn't sleep with them that i was ok with it. i'm not. and if it was no big deal why did he never say anything? then there are the explicit conversations he has with other girls on yahoo. and I mean explicit. that he says mean nothing and has told me time and again that he will stop. and he hasn't. i just asked him about a message that was in his sent folder that said "say ur message was hoping u were still interested i hope you are hit me back " to a screen name I have never seen before but gathering from the grl at the end is a girl. and he just lied about sending it. cont...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:33 AM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • op- how do i get him to tell me the truth? and do i really want to know? especially since he is overseas and I can't go a year like this but knowing could very well be worse than just thinking he's lying to me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • i would confront him or if you have his password to his messenger i would talk to her and try to act like him and say i forgot again whats your name just to see what all is up....before my husband and i married he did that to me and i got online acting like him and found a ton of dirt on him.....thats when i found out he had a girls number in his cell but he had her under a guys name but i called her and yelled at her for a good hour telling her she needed to back up off cuz he was getting married and has children but anyways try doing that or tell him how you feel about it ive noticed if you tell a man how you feel and poor the tears out it seems to help....i didnt talk to my hubby for three days and i guess he missed classes for three days because of it and cried to his mom and brothers about how he messed up and didnt like hurting me... i think time awaye made him realized what he misses not having around..i hope this helps
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Leave him. WTF. If he lived you he wouldn't be talking to other girls like this. I'm sorry but your stupid for wanting to stay with him even after all this.
    dennysgirl07

    Answer by dennysgirl07 at 4:40 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • i just posted before but anywys my husband is in afghanistan and since he did that to me i feel nervous and always am wondering if hes doing anything behind my back over there..thats the hard part of knowing what really went on between my husband and this other girl...he is always telling me to forget about it but how can i you know....but yeah that would be the hardest thing
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:41 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • op- my husband is in iraq. and among what was posted above, he was searching myspace for girls there, too. so to say that I am worried i sa huge understatement
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • my husband kept adding girls in facebook and i finally told him to stop adding all these girls and i went in and deleted every single one that i didnt know and i told him he needs to stop that.....and he's been doing very good...i just have to get over the fact of what he did a year ago......i just dont know how but im trying to figure it out
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • op- mine won't even admit to sending the email. even though it was in his sent folder. he just went in and deleted all his sent messages. he's trying to play it like he doesn't have a clue who sent it. from his account.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • COPY the messages - SAVE THEM! I hate to say this, but he's cheating on you. Being in Iraq has nothing to do with it. From the sounds of it, he's done it before / will do it again.

    But if you have the proof, you can get him in trouble with his command for it when he comes back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • If he did this once, he will do it again. Leave him, and make yourself happy
    momoftwomandm

    Answer by momoftwomandm at 7:29 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • op- thanks for the leave him suggestions, but I would at least like to try to fix the problem first. and besides i have no hard proof that he has actually acted on anything. which i think is necessary before something as drastic as leaving him.,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

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