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are all husbands like this?

My husband works 3 days one week and 4 days the next, swing shift. I am a sahm. I understand that my job is taking care of my son, and i love my job. should my husband help at all?? he just seems so lazy when hes home, hes always saying "i just want to relax on my day off". if i ask him to watch him for a bit while i clean he will, but as soon as im done hes always okay your done, your turn to watch him. my son is only 10 months old, will it get better when hes older? and sometimes i will go to the store and leave them home, he gates up the living room and he watches tv and just keeps an eye on him. he never gets down on the ground and plays with him or reads to him, hes just a babysitter. i am getting so mad. after dinner i do dishes, get the baby a bath, ready for bed, bottle, then i clean the kitchen and all bottles from the day and he watches tv the whole time. should i just let it go? i'm so stressed!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • yeah I would say its pretty normal, but he needs to help you some. It's not like you get timeoff from your job ya know?

    Answer by lowencope at 10:52 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • you sound like dh works 4 days a week and sometimes overtime on saturday night the only difference in our men is that on sunday my dh takes our dd to his mom's while i stay home and relax, he's even wanting to take our 6 week old baby (not going to happen though) anyways yeah i'd like for dh to watch the baby while i get our 3 y/o a bath and ready for bed but he dosen't, he stays on the computer playing world of warcraft while i cook supper, feed the baby, make bottles, wash dishes from supper, get both kids a bath & to bed, and after all that i have only maybe 5 to 10 minutes to get a shower before the baby wakes for another bottle.... gl girl, hang in there

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 10:55 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • welcome to being a single dh works long hours and i understand that and he gets home after our son is in on weekends i will also ask and swear sometimes mine makes me feel guilty..finally i had enough and told him you get to punch out and relax i dont i am 24/7 and its not fair to me. i dont get to come home to a clean house and dinner made eat and fall asleep. i have said im not the maid im your wife im not the babysitter im a mother. i had to laid down the law and tell him this is how its gonna be..and he is to step up and also be a parent i didnt marry just to have a co sleeper and a "roomate" i married to have a husband and that we are a team. if he dosent want to play on the team theres the door. also will add my dh has a night out ( tuesday ) were he can hang with the guys from his shop.i dont get to so if i want to do something with out kids so be it, i will leave and do it

    Answer by tabbys4 at 10:56 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • If you want him to do more then ask him to do more he is a father know so he needs to act like one also just blowing the load in you isn't all that he has to do he know has to help with raiseing him to and you need to tell him that. Men are lazy and my Hubby tried that for a short time and know he is right there to help. Commication is what Men need and a lot of it. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I don't like that at all!~ you have a child TOGETHER, you are BOTH the parents and both need to do these type of things. That would really upset me - my husband although not the most helpful person in the world, he loves his son and LOVES to play with him - he gets on the floor, laughs with him, is silly for him, trys to make him laugh. its SO important for kids and thier parents to form those type of bonds..i would read a book and highlight how important it is - that's what I have to do.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:58 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • are NOT a single parent. A woman who's husband dies is a single parent, a woman who's baby daddy left and has nothing to do with them is a single parent!

    What you both have is a LAZY husband!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • cont..and if he sits on the couch all day i will be the one to let him know i dont think so..i have left and told him see what i deal with all day and night..neddless to say he learned fast. and tends to help out more. i have said if i want to be a single parent i will be..but just know everyother weekend it will only be u and the kids i will not be there to help. you have to put your foot down and stand your ground. and tell him how you feel and how he makes you feel. good luck hun.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 10:59 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • single parent is just a defination ann1059..when you do everything alone and get no help like your the only parent in the dh was a lazy parent but made him step up and do his parenting job. and work with me as a defination...working together.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 11:03 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I don't think ALL of them are like that, but the majority of them are. Your husband needs to understand that being a parent is a full time, 24/7 job that doesn't end. I work outside the home but I still have to go home and take care of my kids, I can't say "Oh I worked all day, I don't have to do anything now." So regardless of how many hours he works, if he is a parent, then his duties aren't over! Even if you are home all day, which brings me to the point that what you do is also a job. People say that being a SAHM isn't a real job? Well I consider being responsible for a human being's life, making sure they are fed and safe and kept healthy a pretty damn difficult job!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Tabbys4: I think that the use of 'single parent' when you are married is offensive to real single parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

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