Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

divorce and custody

I want a divorce, i have for a while. But I don't want to live in this state anymore, I want to move back close to family, 500 miles away. I'm not trying to take my son away at all, I want him to see his father. If I tell him I am leaving, he knows our son is coming with me, can I leave the state? There will still be visitation and all, but I just want to leave this area, its done nothing but mess me up inside. Can he make me stay here? Will I have to wait til we are divorced and have some agreement made up before I can leave. I'm so lost, I don't know what I need to do, I just want to be happy again. Please, any help would be appreciated. My son is 10 months btw.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 AM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You can leave, and get a restraining order too so he can't try to do anything crazy and get custody before you get a divorce.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • you can leave and until ur divorced an uve gne to court to establish custody u can take ur son anywhere same as he could if he wanted an neither of u could do anything
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Go to www.womenslaw.org and click on KNOW THE LAWS then look up your state to see if you can take the child without his permission. However, with his permission you can go anywhere.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:08 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • If you take your kid and leave now without knowing the laws in your state...it is called kidnapping. If your hubby is a good father, it is selfish for you to take your baby away from his father. If on the other had, the father is dangerous, get a restraining order, but you better know what the law says or you can be in a lot of trouble.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • In CA my x slapped a 50 mile order on the divorce. So if I want to take DS more than 50 miles I must get written permission from the x or it would be kidnapping. Good luck, check the laws in your state.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 12:20 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Don't move yet. Get everything handled before you go. You can petition for the move at the same time as filing the custody agreement. If you move now you'll have to travel back and forth for all divorce/custody issues as they can only be handled by the county the child is a resident of. If Dad files in the county you currently live in, and you've already moved, he can petition for immediate return of the child. Which means you'd have to go back anyway. It's a lot less hassle to have everything finalized through the courts first.
    desert_diva

    Answer by desert_diva at 12:35 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • You need to speak with an attorney and find out the laws in your state. I left my ex husband 8 years ago. He is a great guy just did not feel any love for him anymore. I packed up the kids and went to my moms two states away. He filed for divorce and custody he loved the kids as much as I did and wanted to see them more than twice a year. The judge gave me a choice I could either get the kids once a month at my own expense in my new state or I could move back and share custody of the kids. I moved back and shared custody. I was very lucky my ex did not file kidnapping charges he could have and I could of lost my kids all the way.

    Speak to an attorney and you need to do what is best for the child. You want a divorce only you should suffer the consequences. I personally do think taking a child away from a parent is cruel to the child and the other parent and I regret what I did so much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • hi! From previous experience myself u do not have to stay there at all. U can move back home and find a lawyer where u live then he has to commute there. Make sure there is no geographical limitations in the divorce decree. You will have to meet him half way on his visitation dates (thats not so bad) or pay for half his expenses (if u live more than 100 miles away the standard order goes by this) good luck get a good lawyer and go from there
    Lovebugto2

    Answer by Lovebugto2 at 5:06 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN