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Answers / Life & Home / Religion & Beliefs

Just found out...

I just found out that one of my family memebers, who I'm very close to is pregnant. I'm happy for her, do not misunderstand that, but I'm heartbroken too. I guess I'm just going to have a selfish moment here. My husband and I tried for 5 years to have a baby. I have never wanted anything in this life except to be a wife and a mother. I have PCOS, my periods are non exsistant and no matter what I do I can't seem to get them regulated. (I have my yearly checkup again in Dec.) Now I'm separated from my husband, probably going to get divorced next month, I have no health insurance because of a screw up at work and I'm going to have to pay for my own probably though State Farm. I don't understand why my life is turning out this way, because I'm a christian and I've tried with everything in me to be faithful to God, even when my marriage was going south I was faithful to church and God. I feel just horrible and I just don't want...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (15)
  • Keep being faithful to God :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • cont....to go on anymore. I know God hasn't left me but I feel so alone and sad and scared that I will never have children. Finding this out today has really done something too me, it's put me in a depression I can't explain. I don't know what to do or where to turn anymore, I just don't understand. Why does everyone around me get what they want or pray for and all I ever wanted was to be a good wife and mother? Was that just a little too much to ask for? I'm just asking for prayers and writing this anon because I don't want my family memember to ever think that her happy news caused me pain. I know my family is going to be so happy with her news and I'm going to have to find some way to be happy for her, I can't let anyone see my hurt....I know this isn't really a question but thanks to everyone who reads it. God Bless.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I'm so sorry. I don't know what to tell you but to stay faithful to God. God see's the bigger picture. Stay strong.
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 3:04 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • *hugs*
    I'm really sorry to hear all this, and yeah, I had LOTS of selfish moments when all my friends were getting pregnant around me, and I was just... there. I was still pretty young to be thinking about babies, but, I knew from the get-go that I wanted to be a nurse, a wife, and a mother. I wanted little kiddos to be running amok in the house, and needless to say, I'm a very impatient person! :]
    I too have PCOS. I met my husband when I was 18 - married at 19, pregnant at 20, had the baby early at 21. My periods had been completely nonexistent since I was 16 - after briefly having one starting at 14. Doctors told me I couldn't get pregnant. We were about to adopt from a friend, but it fell through. I questioned God myself. A month later, I found out I was pregnant.
    Don't lose sight of your goal, it is possible to have a kid, one way or another. I'll keep you in my prayers. *hugs*
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 3:05 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • *hugs* remember whenever it seems God may have left you, God never does. Have you ever thought of adoption? There are so many unwanted babies out there who you could give a loving home to, causey ou actually would want them :) God bless
    rhanford

    Answer by rhanford at 3:13 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I'm so sorry. I went through many hard times in my childhood and early twenties and used to wonder why. I remember when my dh and I were trying to get pregnant and nothing worked. I cried and cried. I told him he should divorce me and find a woman who could have children etc. We made it through and ended up adopting four sisters from foster care. I can tell you in all honesty that this is what God had planned for me. There is no doubt in my mind.

    There were also times in my life when I felt things were completely hopeless. In the end that was so far from the truth. Please try to hold on to the fact that God does have a plan for you. Of course you can't see it now, but He has one. Hang in there!!! You can pm me if you need a shoulder to lean on. Things WILL get better!!!
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 3:29 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • " I don't understand why my life is turning out this way, because I'm a christian and I've tried with everything in me to be faithful to God."

    No religion comes with a guarantee of a perfect life. If that is your expectation, you will always be disappointed. Everyone has their trials and tribulations. Religion is there to help you deal with those times, not make them magically disappear.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • First of all I am sorry for your situation. I can relate my husband and I are about to go through our first cycle of invitro becuase I have some issues. The only answer I can give you is this has nothing to do with religion. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Just becuase you are faithful to God and a church does not mean that luck will follow you all the days of your life. All I can say is this. Stop asking why and start planning or saving for other fertility options such as invitro or adoption. Good luck on your journey and remember....everything ALWAYS works out. you have to have faith in that.
    Sarahp1379

    Answer by Sarahp1379 at 3:43 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I'm not going to try to give you advice right now. Your heart is hurting and my words would probably only hurt you more. I have been where you are in so many ways. It took us almost 2 years to get our daughter, so I do understand, at least a little, how you feel. It was shere agony to see all my friends having babies, and it brought out a truly ugly side of me to see an unwed mom who didn't even want her baby. We were able to have a baby girl. Then two years later I gave birth to premature twins. They are still delayed and have so many issues that I couldn't even begin to tell you. Then my husband has a chronic health issue that has left him partially disabled, we have had major financial problems and now live on public assistance. I say all of this to say I know the pain you are in. I have struggled with the why's. I still don't know the whys. But I know this...cont.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 4:46 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • God has never left me. He has given me strength beyond mesure. I just had to cry out to Him. Sometimes we think we have to be strong, that we can't complain to God. But the first step for me to both emotional healing and spiritual strength is honesty with God. Yes, I tell Him exactly what I am feeling. He know's anyway. He still loves me, the cross proves that, His presence in my life proves that. So tell Him how you are feeling. Then let Him heal you and sooth your soul.

    Please feel free to pm me, anytime. I'm on most everyday. I don't have all the answers, but I would be honored to pray with and for you. To listen and help in anyway.

    God loves you and I pray He will speak to you in that gentle voice and that He will lift you up and carry you in His arms of strength.

    Please pm me if you need support.
    In His grace, it really is enough.
    Kim
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 4:52 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

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