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Just found out....PIOG

I just found out that one of my family memebers, who I'm very close to is pregnant. I'm happy for her, do not misunderstand that, but I'm heartbroken too. I guess I'm just going to have a selfish moment here. My husband and I tried for 5 years to have a baby. I have never wanted anything in this life except to be a wife and a mother. I have PCOS, my periods are non exsistant and no matter what I do I can't seem to get them regulated. (I have my yearly checkup again in Dec.) Now I'm separated from my husband, probably going to get divorced next month, I have no health insurance because of a screw up at work and I'm going to have to pay for my own probably though State Farm. I don't understand why my life is turning out this way, because I'm a christian and I've tried with everything in me to be faithful to God, even when my marriage was going south I was faithful to church and God. I feel just horrible and I just don't want...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • cont....to go on anymore. I know God hasn't left me but I feel so alone and sad and scared that I will never have children. Finding this out today has really done something too me, it's put me in a depression I can't explain. I don't know what to do or where to turn anymore, I just don't understand. Why does everyone around me get what they want or pray for and all I ever wanted was to be a good wife and mother? Was that just a little too much to ask for? I'm just asking for prayers and writing this anon because I don't want my family memember to ever think that her happy news caused me pain. I know my family is going to be so happy with her news and I'm going to have to find some way to be happy for her, I can't let anyone see my hurt....I know this isn't really a question but thanks to everyone who reads it. God Bless.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Maybe consider adoption. There are too many babies in foster care. I can have babies, but have always wanted to adopt. My God lead you to the best decisions. Please do not be hard on yourself. Keep your chin up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Wow. I can't imagine what you're going through. I know there's not much anyone can do to take your pain away, however I just wanted to remind you that God does work in mysterious ways (as cliche as it might sound), I really believe this. You don't know what is in store for you.. there is probably a good reason you never got pregnant by your husband. Don't give up on God. He will never fail you. What you're going through at this moment is most likely a test of your true character. Stay strong. My thoughts & prayers are with you. :-)
    Lextacy

    Answer by Lextacy at 3:18 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I'm sorry you are hurting so bad, but things will get better for you, I'm sure. I know its hard. My husband i dated for 16 years before he finally proposed and I kept seeing all my friends and family get married and have kids. All i wanted was to be married to my best friend and have kids. So i know where you are coming from. We finally got married and then 2 years later have our baby. Is your marriage falling apart because you can't have kids? Have you had tests to check yours and HIS fertility. Maybe its not something on your part with your periods. Maybe its on his parts. Have you tried ovulation kits from the drug store? If you do get a period you should be ovulating and can check each month by urinating on a stick for a week and you'd get a better idea if you are ovulating. Keep your faith. We always question our faith in times of despair but god is with you. You have to have faith in yourself too, GoodLuck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Oh, I'm so sorry! If anything, I can totally relate. I have two boys, so I am blessed in that manner, BUT....I've lost two babies, and that's never easy. I too have PCOS, so I know what it's like. I just this week had a miscarriage, after trying for 8 years to have another baby. I too am a Christian, and I have questioned God many times. I know it's not my place to question the Lord, but there were times I couldn't handle it. I finally broke one night, and I yelled, and cried out to the Lord and said: Why are you doing this to me?! Then I realized, the time wasn't right. You may not be able to have children, and I know how hard that is. I know what that longing is like to have a child of your own. But really stop and look around at all the children and babies who are in Foster care, or who need adopting. You could be a wonderful Mommy to them. Sometimes, we just have to ask the Lord to re-direct our desires. Cont.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • CONT....My heart aches for you, because I know the pain, and the emotional baggage (if you will) that comes with this. It's never easy to see people around you getting pregnant, when you know you can't. The Lord has a reason that He is not allowing you to bare children right now, and even though we don't understand, God's will is ALWAYS perfect. Remember Romans 8:28- And we know all things work together for good to them that Love God to them who are called according to His purpose. So, while it might not make sense right now, in the end, you'll understand why. Consider adoption. I will be praying for you and for your marriage. Don't ever forget that the Lord's will is perfect, even though we don't understand it. ((HUGS YOU))
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I have PCOS and so does my dd but we both had children. When the time is right, you could still get pregnant. Maybe God is waiting to send the right man
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • *OP* I just wanted to say thank you...to all you ladies who gave me your support, wonderful advice today, and your prayers. I am feeling better, and I apprecieate all you have said and done. I'll be pm-ing some of you so thank you for offering your friendship and prayers. God Bless you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I know you feel bad. I am in a kind of backward situation long story short my Husbands Aunt who always wanted kids but could never have them no matter how hard they tried or how much they spent on treatments, no babies. She took care of my 11 month old daughter while our twin sons were in the hospital in another town, we were staying with the twins. When the twins came home she watched our daughter at nights to help me out, eventually my daughter moved in with her and we all share. There is enough love in a childs heart to love many people. We are her Mommy and Daddy and she knows it, her Aunt is her Aunt but they have a special bond. My daughter comes home every day but just spends nights with her Aunt. I can't tell you how great it makes me feel to know that I gave her a baby. I don't know how or why but for some reason this arrangement works.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

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