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so my fiance has been researching child custody and support laws....I did not know of this....VENT

So im 8 months pregnant
I just looked at the history on my computer because I go thru it and delete any websites and block them if they may cause a Virus or have a virus warning in my spyware. I was not snooping if ppl want to comment on that....This is my own personal laptop which I guess he used when I was gone at class.

Well I found all of these websites in the midst of sweeping my computer on child custody and support...well we live together, we are engaged

I think he is planning on leaving me now that I have gathered this new info

I guess Im just upset and want to vent. This man isnt even capable of cleaning his own ass without me reminding him of how much he stinks let alone care for an infant alone. Also wtf type of custody does he think hes going to get, lol he works all the time, brings home next to nada and never has time for anything. I work 6 months and match his salary easily



Asked by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think you are jumping to the same conclusion most of us would jump to in your situation, but it may not be the correct conclusion. Could he be looking up information for a friend or relative who's in a bad situation? Could he just be a little scared about the baby and wondering what would happen if you decided to dump him? Sometimes men panic right before they become fathers because the overwhelming sense of responsibility hits them. I think I'd try to find out what's really going on and try to stay calm while you're waiting for an answer. GL.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Maybe its something else. I have been looking into what I have to do to make sure my MIL NEVER gets my son if something should happen to us. Its not that I don't like her, because I do, but I CANNOT STAND her husband, and I think, if she got custody of him, he would raise our son to think we were horrible, selfish parents and that DH married me for sex and I married him for money. There are a lot of reasons to be looking into this sort of thing, I would talk to him and find out why. Of course, if he has no good explanation, then I would be worried too.

    Answer by auroura at 3:19 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • WOW! I have to admit, I would definitely want to know why the hell he was looking at that! I wouldn't jump to conclusions though, maybe he is just thinking about the future. Maybe someone he works with was messing with him about how much he would have to pay in child support if you were to split up so he did his own research. I would ask ASAP and find out what is going on.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 3:19 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • wow hon u must be really upset. Im sure you are racking your brain trying to figure out what he is up to. How is your relationship? Did you have any idea he was thinking of leaving? I guess you dont know what his motives are unless you talk to him. Try not to attack, just show him what you found and ask him what his intentions are. Im sorry you are going thru this!!!!! (((hugs)))

    Answer by ria7 at 3:20 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • So tell me then, why are you going to marry this guy?

    Answer by Acid at 3:21 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • OP

    I will ask...Im just in shock right now

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • It seems like you want to leave him or you have no respect for him, the way you're belittling him. The males are always raised to be "alpha and bread-winner" and for you to say he works all the time and brings home next to nada, while you work 6 months and match his salary, it's really mean.
    When I was working, I made more than my DH, easily. Hands down. We didn't worry about who made more, but the fact that we appreciated the other working so hard to provide for our family, and sticking to our guns, no matter what bullsh!t we put up with at work.

    He might've been researching for some one else. Maybe he has a coworker who's struggling with child support or wanting custody or whatever.
    Why would you automatically jump to the conclusion that you think he's going to leave you? Your relationship sounds rocky. If I saw that on my laptop, that wouldn't be the first thing I'd jump to on my DH. We have a solid relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I don't think he's necessarily planning to leave you. When I was pregnant, I did some research on child custody, just to see what my rights were as a single mom. Don't jump to conclusions. Just talk to him about it and get his side of the story.

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:23 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I'd have to agree with the ladies on here...
    Why are you thinking of marrying him then? If you think of him like that?
    And you should ask why he was looking. It might be innocent, or it might not be... but at least you'll know the answer for sure. GL. :]

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 3:23 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • If this was my fiance and I found this out and we both share the rent, I'd beat him to it and find a lawyer or legal support from your community. I know in NYS 17% for one child depending on gross salary.

    Or, better yet play a trick on him and tell him you want to move up the wedding, instead of waiting for the baby to arrive.

    Answer by happynewyorker at 3:25 PM on Sep. 22, 2009