Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you think that sometimes parents set their kids up to be social outcasts, or to be picked on?

One example, sometimes parents dress (or allow their kids to dress themselves) weird or different from other kids.

What is your opinion on this subject?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Well I try to motivate them to dress nice but in other ways I encourage self expression.  And as for then being outcast, it was inevitable.  My youngest will tell off anyone who picks on her or her sister so I'm not worried.  She doesn't get into trouble but she stands her ground. 

    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 4:08 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Yes, I do think that can happen. I don't think that most parents realize that is what they are doing though. I think that they are doing the best that they can. I did read somewhere that something we can do as parents is observe how other kids dress, and then try to mimic that al ittle bit, so that our kids sdon't stand out so much.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 4:09 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • i dont think they purposely do it
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 4:10 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Ilet my dd 7 dress herself alot but I always guide her on hygene and I will say you have to cahnge those black socks..its all I see when I look at you and she will change them. She does her own hair too and will ask for help sometimes. I think the bigger problem is that parents gossip and are rude alot an their kids pick up on it and act thesame way. when my dd came home from Kindergarten the first week she told me she wanted Nike not New Balance shoes...snobby parents r passing this stuff on to their kids instead of values!! I am around kids all the time all dressed up in Gymboree and they are little sh*ts that dont listen at all, but all their parents care about is dressing them up but not making them mind...
    sorry had to vent, dont get me wrong i buy my dd lots of clothes and she looks cute and has friends. I think some kids are naturally "wierd" cause their parents are wierd, but the clothing thing goes to far IMO.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:12 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I agree Ria7. I try to let my kids be creative, but I always worry that they will be teased if it is too outrageous. I always remind them to focus on character more than anything else. But needless to say, there are adults who are just as bad if not worse.
    bellasrose71008

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 4:15 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I don't think it's intentional. Some kids just want it that way and it's better to let them be them selves and you know about it than for them to sneak around behind your back. Or for them to get depressed because you are too controling of little things like clothing. Some kids just won't fit it and there's not much the parent can do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Sometimes I guess. It depends on the situation.
    officerjoeys

    Answer by officerjoeys at 5:38 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I am okay with a child expressing themself. I think it should be within some amount of reason however but lets face it, they will eventually dress how they want. As for a parent dressing a child wierd, what does that mean exactly? If the family is poor the child is not in designer clothes?Making their boy wear a suit and bowtie every day? Putting their girl in a frilly dress everyday? Honestly, it should not even matter what a child wears. If another child picks on them befause of that, that is a bully. If it's not the clothes it would just be something else they would find to pick at.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Kids are going to be picked on no matter how they are dressed.

    There's only so much I will do to make sure my dd fits in with her peers. Will I buy her $100 jeans? Hell no. What kind of values does that suggest? That you have to wear xxx jeans in order to be accepted?

    If she winds up having to wear glasses (like her mom and dad), and she wants to wear contacts, I'll gladly buy them for her. Is she getting colored contacts? Nope.

    Do you see my point? I want my daughter to fit in, but I'm not going to go overboard.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 8:08 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • The problem is not the parents or the kid that is picked on. The problem is that society condones the whole, "in fashion" mentality. My freshman is totally comfortable with who she is inside and out.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 8:16 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN