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How do I tell my Mormon M-I-L not to push her beliefs on my kids?

Living in UT & being surrounded is bad enough. I don't want my kids raised to be Mormon. I can't stop her from indoctrinating them when she babysits. They come home talking like they've been studying "doctrine". All "Joseph Smith" & "I want to go to the temple Mommy!" I can't NOT send them there because I can't afford a sitter. I've told her not to, but she says she can do whatever she wants in her house.

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Asked by HeatherGallegos at 5:02 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (24)
  • Whoa! Tell her to spend family time together, it's not church time, those are your kids and you will teach them beliefs and go to church on your terms, if she can't just be their grandmother then she can come visit them at your house.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 5:07 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • tell her you see dead people

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Make your hubbers talk to her and also make it clear if it keeps up you will find a way to make it possible they won't be over there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I would talk to my husband. There is always a way to find a sitter. But, that also depends on the age of your children. Or, simply threaten her with never seeing them again. It may be a bluff, but she may get the picture.

    Answer by Kaelansmom at 5:25 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • well in a way i see where she is coming from. if she has your children she should be entitled to do with them as she pleases. although i would hope she would respect your request doesn't mean she has too. if your so agaisn't it then don't take the kids there. i mean you trust her to do anything else with them why not let her do her thing, your kids can make the choice to pick if they want to become mormon one day or not. if you have your own religion then arent they of that faith? they wouldn't be able to become a member without being baptised. although i guess i'm biased cause i'm mormon or rather lds so i think it would be a great blessing for your kids to eventually become members themselves. you never know maybe one day you will too.

    Answer by melody77 at 5:28 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • You have to tell her point blank that she can only watch the children in your home. If you have her babysitting then hire an experienced baby sitter to take over. YOU have the responsibility to ensure your wishes are enforced. Otherwise you are teaching your children to give into pushy people. Stand up and say firmly without a question in your voice and without loosing your temper what you need her to do. You do NOT whine it, you do not use the words "Can you or Will you" You use the words like "I want you to..." do not give any room for this to look like she has a choice to your situation. If she acts like a child then you treat her as a child. Put on that Big Mama Bear hat and do not take anything that goes against what you need for you and your family. Again, if she can not comply with your wishes stop sending the children to HER home.

    Answer by pnwmom at 5:31 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Well, first off - hubby needs to talk to her about it. She's his mother, after all.

    Then - you have to realize that she has you over a barrel - and she KNOWS it. She knows you can't (or won't) find other care arrangements for your kids... so she's going to throw her weight around and do whatever she wants.

    You HAVE to find other caretakers for your kids & tell her (and here's the really important part --- you have to MEAN it) that if she can't respect your wishes in regards to your children, she won't have unsupervised contact with them.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 5:54 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I would never let my MIL do this!!! And I am a pushover too, LOL. First of all, I am a mainstream Chrsitian (not mormon) so I am biased too. But I am very protective of who influences my kids spiritually. I would not let them learn about this, personally, either.

    But what she is doing goes far beyond just disrespecting you as a parent (which is bad enough). She is actually manipulating your children against you. The fact that they come home and whining to you that they want to go to temple shows that she is making you the "bad guy" that is mean and won't let them go. That could very likely turn your kids against you!!!

    If I were you I would put my foot down. If she can't stop converting them, then she must stop babysitting them. She may think it is her house, but those are your kids. But that is just my opinion : )

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 5:56 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I told my mother (Jehovah's Witness) very simply. If you ever want to see them again, leave the religious teaching and guiding to their father and I. Haven't had a problem yet.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 6:14 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Exactly what SabrianaMBowen said... See Im Christian and My mom is catholic so she knows there are things not to talk about and she doesnt mind. She knows Im going to raise my kids right. Just tell her you would like it if you taught them not her.. That is for the parents to teach. Dont let anyone tell you she can do what she pleases because she is babysitting them thats dumb bc you are there parents and have a say so.

    Answer by UAFwife at 7:37 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

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