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For Those Who Are Crappy Today!

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.


Asked by Katrina3016 at 7:12 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 3 (23 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • LMAO!!! CUTE VERY CUTE Both of those jokes!

    Answer by vbruno at 7:16 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • At the airport check-in counter, a man overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband.

    The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them from sitting together.

    "Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I know what I'm requesting!"

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:15 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men. It read, "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."
    Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results.

    The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband, "It's because we have to repeat everything we say."

    The husband said "What?"

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:16 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • The company boss was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:

    "I'm the Boss!"

    He then taped it to his office door.

    Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

    "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:17 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • The guy approached a beautiful looking woman in a mall and asked, "You know, I've lost my girlfriend here in the mall. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

    "Why?" she asks.

    "Because every time I talk to a beautiful babe, my girlfriend appears out of nowhere."

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:18 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn't remember.

    "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough."

    "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly.

    "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband.

    "It cost the same as always," said the wife. "I bought the usual ten dollars worth."

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:20 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • LMAO they were all funny! My fav is the one about women talking more then men lol... repeat myself so much I yes I get tired of hearing myself lol

    Answer by jroseh68 at 7:21 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • An English professor wrote the words, "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and told the students to punctuate it correctly.

    The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."

    The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:22 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Katrina, those are really funny...thank you for making my day a little bit lighter. Do you mind if I post some of jokes in my group?

    Answer by ocsosomom at 7:25 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Of course not! Your more than welcome to them!

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 7:43 PM on Sep. 22, 2009