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big problem....please dont bash me.

DD is 15 mos old. she has slept with me since she was 3 weeks old. I was (and still am) terrified of SIDS so i never let her sleep in her crib. My husband wants to put her in her crib and I know its whats best for her. Im sill so afraid though. I dont know what to do anymore ladies Please help. On top of it all tomorrow she goes to theDR for her well baby check up and if im not mistaken (correct me if im wrong) she receives her MMR shot. So now im scared for her to sleep alone that night too. I need to know how to move her into her crib (without putting it in my room theres NO space) that wont traumatize her or myself. I really need help ladies please!!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (18)
  • My babies slept with me and their dad for a while. probably too long.. I read somewhere the US is the only country in western civilization that doesnt have their children in bed. My children liked to cuddle as babies. Whats the big taboo. They are your children I dont see anything wrong if you are a light sleeper. I always kept my babies on my arm. Stop being terrified,. God gave you your baby as a blessing. Pray blessings over your children that are in His word. And trust the Lord who blessed you with your children to keep them for you.

    Answer by Vivian63 at 7:30 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • She is way past the age of greatest risk for SIDS. If that is the reason you want to sleep with her and you are terrified to let her sleep alone you may need some short term counseling. If you are afraid your healthy toddler is going to die at night it can cause mothering problems. My children had a genetic medical condition and they could have died when they were babies or toddlers. I know about the problems moms can have because it is common in moms whose kids really might die in their sleep.

    If you enjoy the family bed and don't want to give it up that is a whole different story. There is nothing wrong with sleeping with your toddler. Mothers have been sleeping with their young children throughout time. In most societies mothers and toddlers sleep together.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 7:37 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Well if you can make space for a basssinet then that would work. Also you can try to get her to fall asleep early and then move her into her room after she's fallen asleep. Does she have a favorite animal or blanket?? You can always check on her every 30 mins if you want, just tip toe in there and check. What about moving a chair or small bed or something in her room so that way you can still be with her but she's also learning how to sleep in her own bed. i hope i helped. Good luck. Why would someone bash you? Im glad no one did, that would be horriable.

    Answer by MommyTurtle1985 at 7:38 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • You could start by doing things like making sure nap time is taken in the crib. That gives both of you a chance to get use to the crib and the concern that SIDS will occure. Make sure the baby is sleeping on her back, you can even by bumper deals that should help keep her on her back. Give her something to snuggle if she needs it and give it a whirl. Ask your husband to give you both the time to make the change but then make sure that you work on making that change. Good luck.

    Answer by Katysmom at 7:47 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • when she falls asleep put her in the crip and throughout the day play with her in the crib so she does not fear going in it once she gets used to the crib and she sees it is not scary it will be easier to put her to bed at night alone

    Answer by gemini527 at 7:50 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • you could have naps in the crib, gradually move it to bed time. or you can sit in the room until she falls asleep. advice though, if your dh wants your baby out of the bed, either do it or work on a comprimise. maybe you can have her fall asleep with you, then move her to the crib? baby monitors are great, you can hear everything, even their breathing. even with the cheap ones! (that's what i used) if you ignore your dh and just let your baby sleep with you, it could cause trouble in your marriage. i know a couple that went through this and they just got a divorce. don't put the baby before your husband, try to make it an equal thing. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I believe she is past the age of SIDS-risk. I could be wrong though. If you decide that you want to put her in her crib, then stick with that once you have started. Remember that, because if you put her in her crib, and she is upset, and you take her out, then you are indicating to her that the crib is bad. Kids, and even babies can sense what you are feeling, so it is very important that you don't act scared when she is sleeping in the crib, or let her see you scared. It seems like this is gonnna be a tough one for you, and maybe even harder for you than for her.
    Bottom line...Once you make the desicion, and move her, then stick with it, and make sure to signal to her that the crib is a nice place to sleep.
    I would start her in the crib one night, make sure she is tired enough, do you normal routine, put her in the crib while she is still drowsy (so she knows what's going on), say goodnight, and leave the room (cont.)

    Answer by LilyandEmmasMom at 7:56 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • If she was going to die of SIDS, it would have happened in your bed or in her crib. No matter what.

    She's not a baby, so making her sleep on her back could be an experience in and of itself.

    I'd also offer that you should seek counseling. You've already not enjoyed her babyhood, now because of your fears you appear to be headed towards not enjoying her toddlerhood because of those same fears.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • (cont.) She will probably cry, but give it some time, go in there every once in a while, tuck her back in, say good night again and leave the room again. If she is tired enough, she will fall asleep. I know there are some parents that don't believe in this method, but if you decide that you want her to sleep in her own bed, then it has to be done somehow. You just have to be consistent with whatever you decide and not change your mind half way through, that will really confuse her.
    As for her staying in her room in the future I can highly recommend the Levana monitor. It comes with a camera, so you will be able to have an eye on her without going in to check on her all night.
    Good Luck...:-)

    Answer by LilyandEmmasMom at 8:01 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • I disagree with that statement. I was very concerned about something happening to my child while I was asleep and I slept with both of mine because of this. Now, both of my toddlers sleep with me in my bed. They will go to sleep in their own bed sometimes, and sometimes they want to sleep with me still, just depends on what they feel like. It didn't RUIN anything, not for me anyways. Do you have a swing? I found that I couldn't fit a crib in our bedroom for our newest bundle but I can fit a swing so thats what she will sleep in.

    Answer by Katrina3016 at 8:09 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

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