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I really wanted to ask if somebody can direct me

I have takening the decision to adopt my daughter out but don*t know what to do so some one told me to come here and find help.Thanks

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (27)
  • I think perhaps going to a group here would be better for you. There's more support there. Just search for "birthmoms" or "adoption" in groups.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • It's nice that someone though to refer you to this section. Here's what I would recommend.

    Read through some of the posts that are in this section - both open and closed questions. You will then get a sense of the personalities and experiences that some of us have.

    When you find a point of view or person's way of communicating about the complicated decision and living out that adoption brings. Look at their user profile. See what groups they belong to and then check out those groups (most will allow you to read the different postings without being a member).

    I wish you the best of luck - it's not a decision to make lightly (and you are wise to seek support).

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 10:42 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • If you really want to put your baby up for adoption I suggest using Google to find a web site like catholic charities to use for the adoption process. DO NOT just put an ad in the paper or on the web. You will get a million nut bags looking to promise you anything to adopt your baby and most of it is not legal. Use a reputable adoption agency.

    Answer by vbruno at 11:03 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Until you are certain that you want to go the adoption route, I would suggest that You NOT get in touch with an agency. Adoption agencies are not the best impartial place to get information about adoption, and they can sometimes be very aggressive because they want and need babies ....that is how they earn their living. Educate yourself thoroughly about adoption. I agree that you shouldn't put an ad in the paper or the web. But, goggling to find an agency might not be the best way to find an ethical agency. Many large agencies may have great reputations with adoptive parents, but terrible reputations with birth parents. The birthmom group can tell you some agencies to avoid, and what to look for in good agencies.

    You said that you are considering adopting out your daughter. Is she born yet? I have a group for pregnant women considering their options here at Cafemom. Iif you are interested, let me know.

    Answer by Southernroots at 11:42 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • As well as checking out all the open and closed posts here which is great advice, I also suggest visiting the birth mothers group where you can talk to women who have done what you're considering, and the "pregnant and considering options" group. Good luck to you.


    Answer by onethentwins at 2:19 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • First, be 100% sure that is what you want, because you never know if you will be able to have children later on. My husband and I have a son turning 5, and we are unable to have more. My husband and I have been trying to adopt a little one for 6 months now, we have had 1 fall through, it ended up being a lie, they disappeared, after we painted and furnished the nursery. We're looking for a very open adoption, we would love to include the expectant family in all of the special moments of the little blessings life. I would recommend you look for an open adoption, so you can still be involved in her life and watch her growWe will be keeping you & your family in our prayers & we are here if you would like to talk! I just pray if you decide to go the adoption route, be open and honest with the adoptive family, even if you change your mind at the last moment, it breaks our heart every time we look at our nursery without a baby in it

    Answer by Christian-Mom79 at 10:15 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I think you have some great advice already shared. Definitely reread the questions and answers here and look into some of the groups that were suggested, as well as any others you might find as you research adoption.

    I too, would not suggest contacting an agency yet as there is always a risk that their counseling will push heavily for adoption without sharing all sides with you. I would also advise being cautious with speaking with couples who are currently seeking to adopt, for protection on both your side and theirs.

    I do suggest though, as Port mentioned, once you begin to learn of the different members here involved in adoption, check out their profiles, learn their stories and even reach out to them if you feel up to. There are many here from all sides of adoption, and even moms who had considered adoption and decided to parent their children who have experiences that may help you through the process.

    Answer by bellacocco at 11:31 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Here are some groups that can help you find just the right couple if adoption is the decision that you make.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • please I implore you to talk to birthmoms & adoptees before checking out any groups where people are looking for babies to adopt! You have lots of time to do that after you have made a final choice about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • You can go on Cafemom under groups and put in adoption this may give you what you are looking for.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

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