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arab culture & kissing in public

hello girls! i just have a question for you, it might be silly but here i go...in arab culture is kissing in public inappropriate between husband & wife? the reason i ask is because my husband and & i were @ a festival for eid w/our daughter & she was thirsty, hubby goes & gets a drink & to tell him thank u i leaned in for a lil quick kiss which then he quickly jerked away & said not here. the rest of the nite i was upset & felt rejected (i didnt make a fuss @ the festival i didn't want to ruin the fun) but when we got home i told him how upset i was. he said that for arabs culturally its inappropriate to kiss in public. yet i find it funny how when greeting someone you usually give kisses on the cheek. please explain why...thanks so much

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beachmom0703

Asked by beachmom0703 at 11:38 PM on Sep. 22, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • he's right, not sure why but i asked my hubby (navy been overseas a million times) and he said for a man and woman to kiss (in an intimate fashion, not just a greeting) is inappropriate in public)
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:41 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • As far as I can recall public display of affection (holding hands, kissing etc) is taboo in arab cultures.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 11:41 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • In arab cultures anything that could be considered even remotely sexual is not okay in public. That's why many women in that region cover their hair and wear burkas that only show their eyes. At least that's what I understand of it.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:42 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • ok so i guess i should go apologize for being upset w/him...since its just a culture thing? am i wrong for being upset w/him?
    beachmom0703

    Answer by beachmom0703 at 11:44 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • Would I advise apologizing to him, Yes. Is it wrong for you to be upset, I cannot say as I don't know exactly how he handled the situation and whether or not he showed any regard for your feelings. You were unaware of this particular difference in culture so he SHOULD (in my opinion) have been compassionate and understanding about it when the two of you returned home.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 11:47 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • any form of affection, even if between a husband and wife, is very taboo in Arab cultures. That is why woman still wear the burkas(sp), they believe that a woman's beauty is for her husbands eyes only. I think you should tell your husband that you now understand why he did it, but he could have explained it or been a little more sensitive in the matter. At least now you will know for next time.
    alexsmomma06

    Answer by alexsmomma06 at 11:55 PM on Sep. 22, 2009

  • NOT JUST ARAB CULTURES......It's very common in ASIAN culture. My husband is from the Ind-Sub.Contient.....and the same rule applies. It took me awhile to learn this.

    now we do sneek kisses in the kitchen if we have company over. We will hold hands in public but not at Muslim gatherings.

    NO KISSING. it takes awhile to get used to.

    My husband NEVER saw his parents kiss. He saw them hold hands a couple of times but it's not common in that culture.

    My friend from Japan said it's the same thing outside of Tokyo, even inside Tokyo if you are from an old family.

    My aunt if from Cambodia and they are the same way....so it's pretty common in Asian culture.

    Another thing to remember, Most marriages are arranged marriages...so love comes after marriage and when it does they like to keep it private.
    AmmuJSE

    Answer by AmmuJSE at 2:18 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • AmmuJSE is dead on. Western cultures are rather open to PDA compared to the world. My family is very ethnically mixed and sometimes there is a culture clash. I was raised in the Spanish culture of my maternal grandmother. It's not uncommon for someone to come in the home and be welcomed with a kiss on the cheek. I know though when I go to pick up my stepsister and brother that, their mother and grandmother would never welcome it. Since I was raised in such a mish mash of cultures I was conditioned to know what you do at Nana's is different than at Granny's and different than at Sittu's
    OneToughMami

    Answer by OneToughMami at 3:15 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • ati_13 "That's why many women in that region cover their hair and wear burkas that only show their eyes. "

    No, that's not why. They wear a Hijab (hair covering) or a Niqaab (Burka is in Afghanistan, you know the big blue one.) because it is written in the Qur'an for women to guard their oranments. Their hair, Their chest, Some women even cover their face. But it's not because it's Taboo. It's called modesty and we cover because Allah commanded us to.
    AmmuJSE

    Answer by AmmuJSE at 3:35 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • This is not simply a cultural thing. Islam is a religion that gives you a complete way of life. Kissing in public is immodest. Some people will say well it's just a peck on the cheek. For some it is, for muslims it is not. it's a public display of immodesty. holding hands is very much the same way. Whatever occurs between husband and wife is for husband and wife only. You can kiss and hold hands all you want in the comfort of your home , privacy. For American Muslims it may be different or seen as a cultural practice because as Americans we are raised to believe that public displays of affection are good and show that the husband loves his wife and vice verse. So they continue with it even after coming to Islam. However as the modesty grows so does the ability to maintain your marital relations private. My husband and i do not hold hands or kiss in public but we do much of it at home amongst ourselves. The only time
    Aasiyah

    Answer by Aasiyah at 6:19 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

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