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Is it wrong to TTC if your hubby doesnt want another?

My Friend, has one baby, a 8.5 month old. She knows we're trying to have another and she really wants to try. Well she just told me that she stopped taking her pill. And wasnt going to tell her hubby. Is this really wrong? They have the room for another and they would make a great family of 4. And they both have great jobs. They are better of then we are!!! Its sad :o(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:05 AM on Sep. 23, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (23)
  • yes, it's wrong. What if her husband finds out she did it on purpose and deceived him? Lying by omission is still lying and if you can lie to your husband, what kind of relationship do you really have? The marital relationship should be based on trust and honesty - sounds to me like they don't have that and I think it's sad.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 7:22 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Yes it is wrong. But She wants what she wants. And that's another baby.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:25 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Yes, that is ABSOLUTELY wrong! How can she not see that? That'd be like her not wanting a baby, and her DH wanting one and poking holes in the condoms or something. How would she feel about something like that? I could understand wanting another baby, but doing it by deciet is NOT the way to do it. It's not fair to the DH.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 7:37 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I agree! I want another, but my DB doesnt not... I am trying to change his mind. 1 is not enough, but with a 7 and a half month old I can wait at least a year! So I am using this time to beg and beg and beg some more, lol...
    ashley_hatty

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 7:52 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • That's like saying it's ok to have sex with someone else as long as hubby doesn't know. It's an act of betrayal.

    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:09 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • This is VERY wrong. She is lying to her dh, she is betraying his trust in a very fundamental way, and, frankly, if she does get pg and he finds out that she tricked him like this she might find that she is NOT in a great family of 4, but the divorced mom of 2 - not because of the child necessarily, but on how she went about getting the child with lies and deception.

    Nobody should be forcing their partner to have another child. Think about it - what would you think about a MAN who punched holes in his wife's diaphragm, trying to trick her into getting pg when she didn't want to? Women would be UP IN ARMS over this - and rightly so. It's the SAME thing when it's a woman tricking her husband!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:14 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • yes it is wrong. it is lying to your so/dh/df.
    acjadams

    Answer by acjadams at 8:45 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Duh... entrapment!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • so so sooooooooooooooooooo wrong
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:01 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • It is very wrong. If she really loved her husband she would not do this. If having a baby is not right for both people it is wrong for both. He will end up resenting her over this and probably will not trust her again. Just because he is saying no now does not mean he always will. Their baby is still just a baby. This person is so self absorbed how will there be room for another baby in her life? I personally would tell the husband if I knew that. Protect him from her lies.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:06 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

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