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Im so sad...sex question..

Ive been married for 5 years and have two wonderful kids...i had a m/c last November and ever since then my husband wont have "normal" sex...he only wants anal sex..which i dont mind sometimes...and on top of that he has changed how things go.. he likes to be very rough...which is fine SOMETIMES.. He wont look at me during sex..he wont do any other positions..its just "bend over.." I know this is TMI for most people but im so heat broken over this..i use to love sex with my husband now its just something i deal with and cry after its over...i dont feel like he really wants to be with me..he never kisses he never shows "love" he is just rough and fourcefull and gets upset if i dont go along with what he wants..Ive talked to him and he just says that i must be cheating if im complaining and then he will go weeks without touching me at all.... im getting very depressed about this and would like some non hate advice... Thank you

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Sep. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I'm so sorry!!! I wouldn't allow him to have anal sex until he can respect the fact that you want real sex, and not the just bend it over kind!!!
    Amy75972

    Answer by Amy75972 at 9:59 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • It sounds like your husband has a problem if he isn't caring about your feelings. I wouldn't let him do these things to you anymore. That is not love, that is using you as a...I don't even know the word. I would suggest counsiling. he needs help.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:00 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • You guys need counseling ASAP.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • :( He's got some issues that you don't know about, and he's taking advantage of you, and pretty much just using you for his satisfaction! There is something deeper going on here and I agree that counseling with a sex or couple counselor will help. And no sex till you go! Good Luck
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 10:03 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • no pun intended..but all i can say is, what an asshole!
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 10:08 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • HE NEEDS HELP.... This is not your fault stop ALL sex until he can RESPECT YOU. You are his WIFE not some slut off the corner and he has NO respect for you at all. GL with this and stand up for yourself NOW.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • They are all right but here's the thing, he accused you of cheating, which makes me wonder if he is. I am not saying that it's a science or anything but usually the one that gets defensive and accuses, does it because they carry the guilt themselves. When my hubby and I were seperated, I thought having sex with him again would help him come back somehow but it was just like you explained, he was cold and only about him and it was the saddest thing ever for me to go through with the man I love, so I feel so bad for you! I hope things get better and if they don't then I hope you can be strong enough to take the next step, whatever it may be.
    Good luck and take care!
    teardrop_7060

    Answer by teardrop_7060 at 10:09 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • omg if I didn't know better I'd say we had the same guy! what is it with these men who just want to ram it up the backside and think that's enough intimacy for us? i don't like it at all but sometimes during doggy style he'll just ram it in there before I know what happened. wtf? how can they think that's pleasant? he told me one time when I asked that he loves the reaction he gets when he does it. (my screaming) next time I'll see how he likes me hitting him with a broom handle when he's not looking. i am not sure what the answer is but just know you are not alone in this one.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Well he is not being sensitive to your feelings at all. I don't know about cheating or whatever, but it sounds as if he has some real heavy issues going on with himself and he is not letting you in on it. He either needs to open up and talk to you about it, or talk to someone else. Of course most men don't ever want to talk about feelings. Personally I would stop having sex with him. I know it will make you depressed, and you will get lonely and long for the regular sex you used to have, but isn't that how you feel now and on top of that, he is using and abusing you. You really need to get him to talk about what is bothering him, or why he only wants sex that way now. I would simply put my foot down, tell him no more sex like that and let him get upset if he doesn't get his way, let him accuse you of cheating, YOU KNOW you aren't. Stand your ground or you will be miserable for a long time to come.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 11:18 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Aww sweetie. I just want to give you a big hug. I know how heartbreaking it is when there are sexual problems in a relationship. Sex is tied so much for us. Our emotions, our self confidence, etc. So when there are problems, it hurts.

    The only thing you can do is talk to him about how you feel and don't forget that you have control over your own body and you can say no.

    A counselor does sound like a good idea. Make an appointment and ask him to go with you. If he's not willing to go, go by yourself. Even going alone can help.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 11:47 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

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