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First baby, no baby shower?

I just found out i am pregnant (4 weeks 2 days), I was talking to my best friend (has no children, just married in June) and she asked when the baby shower usually happens, i said around 6/7 months but I didn't think I was going to have one. She thought I was crazy she said "that's like having a wedding and asking people NOT to bring gifts". I was kind of put off by it, but changed the subject quickly. What she (and others) don't know is we have been TTC for quite some time, and I collect a lot of things already like bottles and clothes, though I can use some more of the bigger sizes (18 months+), PLUS i don't want to seem like i'm panning for gifts or them get something I don't like and will have to use anyways. I was kind of put off, question is, is it weird not to have a baby shower purposely, even if it's your first?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Sep. 23, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I did not have a babyshower. But I have given many. Its usually held by a friend and if she knows ahead of time, she can put on the invites that your looking for bigger sized clothes. A gift registry is a great idea so people will know exactly what you want/need. Its not just about gifts (even though thats a great perk) its also about getting together with all your girls, having fun with all the goofy games, eating some good food, and just relaxing. You wont have too many of those relaxing days with the girls once the baby is born. I say if someone wants to give you a shower, accept it. If you get something you dont like, just exchange it. Dont tell the giver your going to do it, just exchange it.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 10:15 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I wouldn't say it's weird not to hav eone if you really don't want it. But if someone wants to throw you one, you might just want to relent and go. They are a lot of fun and it's not, IMO, so much about trying to get things per se as sharing such a happy time with your family and friends. I loved mine and am so glad my mom and sister did it for me. It was a wonderful day that I remember even now almost four years later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Well I'm sure your friends and family would be happy to bring you gifts and have a baby shower for you. Generally you register at several places so that you can get things that you want and put that on the invitation. I think you should definately have a baby shower, but if its not something that you really want to do, then don't do it. It's your choice.

    Answer by lowencope at 10:12 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • You should still have something, your friends and family are going to be soo happy and are probably ging to want to enjoy and celebrate with you, at least have a baby meet and greet a month after baby is born..something.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 10:19 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • (OP) Good idea (the meet and greet) my mom didn't have time to have a baby shower before i was born (didn't find out till she was 6 months) so she had one after. Plus babies in my family tend to be on the larger then "average" side, I was 9lbs 1oz, my sister was (at 28 weeks) 7lbs 8oz, she would have been 10lbs at birth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • (OP) it didn't occur to me until JUST now that she might have wanted to host it...she lives in a different state, of COURSE if someone wanted to host/throw one i wouldn't refuse it (that's rude) but I just...i dunno, i guess didnt' want to seem like i was ASKING for it ya know

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Speaking from the perspective of an attendee, part of the fun of going to a baby shower is buying baby stuff (even if you have your own to buy stuff for, lol). So if she wants to throw a shower for you, instead of asking people not to get anything or feeling obligated to use what they do get, perhaps you could make a note on the invitation saying that all gifts will be donated to Goodwill or a local women's shelter or something along those lines. That way your friend can still throw a shower, you won't get unwanted stuff, and guests can still buy baby stuff. Just a thought. :)

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 10:35 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • People love buying baby gifts, you won't be putting them out. If you already have alot of stuff, you could make it a themed shower, like maybe just a diaper or clothes shower. That way people won't get you the stuff you already have. Or just go register for a bunch of stuff you don't have yet. Showers are fun and people enjoy celebrating with you. I would suggest you have one if it is your first, it is part of the whole experience.

    Answer by moviemom22 at 10:57 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I completely understand not wanting to sound like you were asking for one, but acting put off by the idea may have offended your friend. If this is a frist child there are so many things that you can learn from others. A baby shower is a great way to do that. Plus, your first will only happen once and you don't want to have any regrets. So let your friends and family celebrate the baby. Register at a babby store or target. They have lists that help you know what to register for, but you can skipp all that if you really want to and only register for the big things like stroller, bedding set, highchair , swing or car seats. That way you only get the ones you want and all your friends can chip in one one big gift. GL and try to enjoy all the baby excitement that comes with being preggers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 AM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • What is TTC???

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 11:39 AM on Sep. 23, 2009