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has anyone ever been molested and now as an adult dont feel anything during sex or hurts sometimes? is there anything that can be done so that I can feel pleasure during sex? thanks.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Sep. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • If you go to the top right you can find a private group to join who can help you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I was raped when I was younger and now I hate sex! Its painful! I love my husband but I feel like its ruining marriage not liking sex.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • My answer to you would be a LOT of therapy with both you and your partner. Tell him how you feel. Another thing that has helped me is being a bitch in bed. Like get him almost there and stop or just tease him and stop. It made me feel more powerful and in control. It also made me feel like no matter what my partner would respect me and whenever I wanted I'm to stop he would.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I would also say therapy will help. You need to let down your guard and relize your mate loves you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • OP here, i know that he loves me, i want to be with him, i get excited and everything, but when he's inside of me, i dont feel anything. I'm kinda ashamed because we've been married for 16yrs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I was raped as a teen and sex hurt for a long time and I was horribly depressed when I started to deal with it. After I had some therapy and my hubby being very patient and understanding. Sex is great, but I still get anxious at times, but my hubby knows how to walk me through it. So I highly recommend treatment and talking honestly and openly to your partner. Also make sure you get an exam to ensure there isn't a physical cause, I have a tilted uterus that can make things painful as well. Good luck and it is up to you to get your sexuality back at your pace.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • It does take time and forgiveness as well as therapy and moral support from friends and loved ones but it's a do-able thing. You have to learn to love and value yourself bc the person who did this to you devalued you at the time. Many times we get stuck there emotionally but you don't have to stay stuck there. We need to find an emotional "tow truck" to pull us out of that muck. Since great sex is mostly mental we have to get our mind in the right place so we can enjoy. The longer you stay stuck bc of what some bad person did to you the longer you allow them to continue to control your life. At some point you have to say "NO, I'm not going to let that pervert control me anymore. I am a good person and i deserve to enjoy sex with the person I love". Just keep saying it until your brain believes it. You will be pushing out the bad feelings about back then and replacing them with good feelings. Then you can enjoy sex.

    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:40 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I had a simlar life as a young adult and child. Then, I felt completely controlled by either my step-dad or my exh. My exh would always want me to do things for/to him I didn't agree with or the other way around. He always said it shouldn't matter what I do for him or let him do to me, I was raised to be a personal whore anyway. In the end I freaked out on him and moved him out. Protective order, then moved my older brother in just in case.

    Seek help! Love yourself so you can love your dh. I went through years of counseling to learn that. I am now happily married for almost 10 years and I love sex with my dh. It can and will happen if you let it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

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