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HomeComing Dance.. does this seem fair?

Homecoming to me is a rite of passage, especially the dance and the party. Last year was my sd's first, so we had a great time shopping and doing all those girly things together to get her ready.
So homecoming is in 3 weeks for her, and we set a date this weekend to start shopping for a dress, then yesterday Dh sat her down for a talk and expressed his disappointment in her grades this year, and the fact that she has been in a lot of trouble at school this semester already, plus one incident where she snuck out for the night. He told her because of all of this irresponsible behavior, she was not allowed to go to the homecoming dance this year.
Well her and I are BOTH fuming mad, I just don't think he understands, I mean she is only in high school once and these are precious years for her. But once he makes his mind up, he won't change it.
I say let her go! What do you think, isn't homecoming too important to miss out?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Sep. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (87)
  • nope, i agree with her dad, maybe she'll stop being a brat now
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • It is more important to show the child her behavior isn't to be tolerated. If my daughter was sneaking out and getting bad grades she wouldnt be going either. Its not a right to go to a dance its a priveledge and it must be earned. Sounds to me like she hasnt earned anything
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • its only a dance, she will get over it. Dad is right on this one, make her stay home.
    HelloKitty86

    Answer by HelloKitty86 at 2:07 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I agree COMPLETELY with her father. Dances and etc are not a right.
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 2:09 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I think you only want her to go so you can shop with her. Giving her what she wants isnt going to stop her bad behavior. Make her stay home. Give that kid some dicapline maybe she will stop being rebellious and be able to go next time
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I agree with your husband, but think he should have discussed it with you first to see if you had a different opinion or idea to get her back on track.
    Now that he has made his decision and has told her there is no going back, now you have to stick with it. Or she will always think she can get her way.
    Hopefully she will learn the lesson and get her act together.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 2:10 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • No way. If her grades have fallen and she's been in trouble at school and she snuck out... honey those are red flags right there that she shouldn't have any sort of privledges. If she can behave herself, she gets privledges, if she misbehaves, she gets privledges taken away. Seems to me like she's gotten away with a lot lately, so maybe "taking away" the homecoming dance will get her to realize she can't keep doing what she's doing, providing it's explained to her as such.
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 2:12 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I can see the dad taking away the dance from her for not behaving, but this should have been a stipulation from the beginning. Like you know if you don't bring your grades up by the dance then you can't go kind of thing. instead of deciding it a few weeks before hand. However, I think it is a fair punishment for not behaving.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Nope-i agree with DH on this one. Going to the dance is a privledge not a right. I expect my kids to behave and do their best in school in order to go and do fun after school activities. Maybe now she will get the point and straighten up, or he might not let her go to other school functions or even prom. She obviously needs consequences for her actions-hopefully now that she knows he is not joking around she will pull up her grades and make better decisions about her behavior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I agree with your hubby on this one, it's just a dance it's not the end of the world, she needs to learn that life is not fair, and that you have to face consequences when you don't behave,  it sounds like your trying to be the cool step mom to her, I would stop trying to be the "cool one" and do the right thing. Just my opinion not trying to offend you

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:21 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

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