Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The bills who pays what?

so hubby and I have tried combining all income and paying stuff together but we r changing it due to mistrust/issues recently (only for a period). Since I make more he doesn't want to do a complete equal split but have me pay more. If we do a equal split ill be left with $$$ than him. What do u think? fair that he doesn't pay close the half?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Sep. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • If he's spending the household money on wasteful and unnecessary things and is unwilling to give you access to the bank account then I think it's entirely fair for you to open your own bank account and have your paychecks deposited into it.

    If he's refusing to give you the password to a joint bank account then I would be wondering what it is he doesn't want you to see.

    Lay down the law, either you get equal access to the money or he can fend for himself.

    Both incomes should be put into one bank account that you BOTH have access to, the bills should get paid and then anything frivolous should be discussed by both of you before EITHER of you go spending.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • well our money is together but if it were't, here's the way i see it: you both watch the tv, you both use the phone, you both use the water and electricity, ect. he doesn't want to pay half, then make him cut down on things, like buy a timer and he can only take 5 minute shower, (lol, if you do that, let me know, i HAVE to know his reaction lol), only a certain of time watching the tv, ect. in other words, make a point. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • If you're basically going to act like roommates (as far as bill-paying goes), then I personally think it should be halved; if you had a roommate, you each would pay half the rent, half the utilities, etc., and if either of you had any extra expenses you would have to cover it out of your own extra money, and chances are you wouldn't even know how much each other made.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • We split our accounts and anything that is mine (vehicle, insurance) I pay, his (vehicle, insurance) he pays, the rest (mortgage, c cards, cable, phone, utilities, groceries, daycare) is split equally. I make more than he does too. Think of it this way, if you two really split up, he won't have to pay half, he will pay all of the currently shared bills.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:14 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I don't think it's right that y'all can't just combine your money, and pay them altogether. Why not set a budget, set everything that you can to be taken out of your account automatically, or set it up through bill pay, and that way you know what has to be there. I think that once you are married, that you become one (I know some people don't think that, but it's true.) Anyway, y'all should be working as a team, and not as separates. Hope y'all can figure something out that works for you guys.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Thank you anon 18. I have never understood why so many people feel the need to have his and hers when it comes to bills. Its your (plural) house, they are your kids, its your cars, ect. In fact, in the state I live in, ANYTHING you buy after you are married is jointly owned no matter whos name is on the title of the car, ect. Give yourselves each an allowance for spending money, dump the rest in savings for agreed upon items and call it good. Take turns buying big items if thats the worry (IE he gets the big TV, then I get the new sofa).

    Answer by auroura at 2:26 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • My hubby makes the money I pay all the bills and when I work we combine everything together and just pay our bill. It's all about comunication, sitting down and figuring everything out and budgeting.

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:27 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • you guys r answering but don't have a clue!!! what if he has been buying porn membership and not giving u access to the bank acct (password) what if he does not write down everything on the ledger? please don't answer mean I told u there were issues!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I agree - it should be 50/50. My ex bf and i just recently moved in together and he bitches cuz i get his child support still and you know what..... it'd be the same if we werent together- he'd have to pay his child support and half of everything with anyone else. CHild support is used to get the kids thier clothes, medical and whatever else just as always and my check pays my bills. if he has a bad month of commissions, he knows I have to dig and scrounge for the money to pay the bills. It is only fair.

    Answer by roxyann76 at 3:20 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Jademom07 i hate to tell you if you are currently pay half of everything when it's divorce time you will continue to pay half of only get alimony if you can prove your husband was paying everything or was paying more than you....My answer to your question is what do you want your end result to be? If you want your marriage to end then spilt it 50/50 you will have more money but he will be VERY resentful and making the strain worse....i am a sahm my hubby pays for everything but WE do have separate bank accounts and I do have my own money...I think you need to decided if you want your marriage to last agree to pay a little more. Thanks

    Answer by abbyg at 3:55 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

Next question in Relationships
wat would you think of this?

Next question overall (Babies (0-12 months))