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Have you seen this adoption story?

http://cedartrees.wordpress.com/2009/09/23/sorry-mrs-smith-your-baby-has-to-be-adopted/

What do you think of it? Do you believe that what was done to these parents qualifies as "extortion" or "coercion"?

Answer Question
 
Cedartrees4

Asked by Cedartrees4 at 6:01 PM on Sep. 23, 2009 in Adoption

Level 6 (112 Credits)
Answers (126)
  • I'd say blackmail.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 6:40 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Sadly, the answer to this, is , BOTH. To extort, is to obtain by money, and at times is done by means of coercion. The doctor, and agency involved with the hospital, would be considered the person of extorting. The coercion is done , by way of threat or force..tricking someone with threats, and pressure by force. It is sad that many people do not beleive this is prevelent in todays world...those people are seeing things, from "blind eyes", meaning refusing to beleive this actually happens, and many believe, that just because it happened to some of us 25 yrs ago or more, that it is not important in todays" OPEN ADOPTIONS'. However, I beleive, these means of coercion/extortion, are done MOST times through agencies/facilitators/SW...NOT by couples whom desire nothing more than to be parents:( Blessings, I send many hugs, and prayers to this couple, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 6:43 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • The response will be that happened 25 years ago and no longer occurs...
    miriamz

    Answer by miriamz at 6:56 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • That is a very unproductive answer miriamz and can serve no purpose other than to start drama.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I didn't mean to start drama but I've read enough questions like this to know what the reaction would be. Are you denying that that has been the reaction countless times?
    miriamz

    Answer by miriamz at 7:06 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • How many birthmothers get told over and over that their experiences are irrelevant and that they shouldn't share them because that isn't how adoption happens anymore.
    miriamz

    Answer by miriamz at 7:07 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I understand what you are saying miriamz and you are right, there are posts here that seem to brush experiences off as "happened "x" amount of years ago but doesn't happen anymore. It's been told to me more than once.

    To me, it's just about the same thing I was told "x" amount of years ago, that whatever bad I had heard of adoption was long ago and just didn't happen anymore. Infact, even the NCFA (National Council For Adoption) uses this in their Birthmother, Good Mother Manual, the publication they produced after interviewing bmoms to better learn how to convince a pregnant mom to give up her child.

    And I'm sorry, Cedar, for hijacking and redirecting this question but miriamz's response struck because of the many times I have heard or been told that what happened to me back when doesn't matter now, because it's different. And yet, I was told the same thing "back when."
    bellacocco

    Answer by bellacocco at 8:32 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Sorry, again. In answer to your question, I think not only are both extortion and coercion involved here but so is a total lack of ethics, a complete disregard to human kindness, a violation of what should be everyone's basic right for help and medical aid, and a downright "selling" of a human being in the worst of ways.

    But it doesn't, sadly, surprise me what the Social Worker, or adoption counselor, wrote in the records about the child being abandoned. It sounds all too familiar to what I have heard other aparents and adoptees told when they have no way of verifying the facts. And it does make sense, in a twisted kind of way, because how far would these sort of people get if they actually said . . .

    "The parents either felt, or were lead to believe they had no other choice. They loved and wanted the very best for their child but were denied any and all help so that they would believe adoption was their only choice
    bellacocco

    Answer by bellacocco at 8:37 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • You do know that this is a fictional article that the author says is "based on a true story". It is fiction that someone is using as self expression but there is no link to where anything like this is shown as fact. The article is not coming from any legitimate news source, it's someone's blog

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • What part of 'Based on a TRUE Story" do you question? Please do enlighten ALL us pessimistic, sad, bitter grief stricken people of Adoption. Please feel free to go to her profile page, and follow her links to many many sad journies, of indeed truth. Some truths, are very hard to except for some people, to dismiss it is much easier than to acknowledge its reality, and the very real pain than is created from that reality. In her links/blog, she will indeed lead you to where it is you seek "proof". If you have further reason to question...simply e-mail her, and ask her for the original story, I feel sure she will be happy to further educate those with doubt. Blessings, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 9:19 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

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