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Is this Cheating?

So, back about a year ago, DH and I became friends with a couple who lives around the corner. After a few weeks, I started to feel odd about it because she was very attentive to DH, bring ing him food and snacks when I was not home, going out of her way to spend time with him, then I find out that she has been texting him TONS, supposedly to talk about problems in her marriage, anyway I blew up and we stopped talking to them, but now about two weeks ago her husband shows up and tells me that my DH is calling her and he is mad, DH denies it repeatedly, until today, when her husband brings me her cell phone and i hear my DH leaving explicit voice mails on it. I was crushed!! DH says that they started talking trying to figure out how we could all be friends again and then she started trying to go further with him, when he refused to go beyond phone sex, she told her husband, who told me...what do i do?!?!?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:28 PM on Sep. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • castrate him!

    Answer by pookipoo at 8:30 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Yes that's cheating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Go beat the shit out of her!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Then divorce him!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • If I was in that situation I would be done. Just because they didn't physically do anything, doesn't make what they did do ok. If they had already gotten to that point then it really is only a matter of time before they got physical. They just got busted before it could happen.

    Would he be ok if you were having phone sex with someone else? Having another guy doting on you while he's not home? Phoning you and texting you all of the time?

    He will have a million excuses and justifications and will try to turn it around to being your fault somehow.
    Bottom line is that he disrespected you. You are his wife.
    If it was so easy for him to do it this time, what's going to stop him from doing it again? Him getting caught only teaches him what to do to not get caught next time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • That's cheating, hands-down.
    "when he refused to go beyond phone sex, she told her husband" Harmless 'we're discussing about my marital problems' is entirely one thing. but PHONE SEX? Hello. Sex is the keyword to me.
    And the fact that he denied it? Double no-no for me.

    Just depending on where you stand with him. If you love him and/or are really wanting it to work out, go to marriage counseling and probably individual for the both of you won't hurt either. But, if this is maybe the "last straw" and you really don't want to work things out or anything, well, I would say divorce him. This is all entirely up to you. I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I hope everything works out the way you hope it does. *hugs*

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 8:36 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • leave him and hook up with her husband! she how she likes it...

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 8:37 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Sorry you are going through this. Some women have NO class and your friend is one of them. There is nothing worse than a homewrecker, in my opinion. If you leave him, they will probably end up together, even though it will be the worse mistake of his life and he will soon regret it, and if you stay, it will be hard to trust him again. He cheated, and he is lying. I am not sure what advice to give other than ask him if he wants to make your marriage work. Maybe he will be honest for once. If he wants to choose her, than it will be his loss, because he also will never know when she is going to cheat on him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • Yes it's cheating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • i am so sorry that u have to go through this.............unfortunately that is considered cheating.....he has done two things to hurt u 1. he cheated and 2. lied about talking to her................cheating doesn't need to mean physical sexual contact .....u know what i mean?..........if u do stay with him it'll be very hard for u to trust him because u will never be sure if he is lying to u about something or if he is hiding something from u..........good luck to u

    Answer by fay101 at 9:27 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

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