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My boyfriend has has three kids and I have one of my own, in which he claims as his own.

I go to school and he works out of town 4 days a week. I am caring for our daughter all week and he just has to work and has the rest of the night free. When he comes home on the weekend he doesn't help with anything. Even when his kids are here I feel like a mother of four. He also doesn't feel like they should have chores. It is hard enough to get them to put their dishes in the dish washer. I feel like a made or nanny. I am also expecting and lately I feel so worn out and I feel like I am working from the time I wake until I go to bed when all the kids are here. I dont ever get to ret because if I do then the house becomes a war zone. How do I deal with this? I am always in a bad mood and bitchy because i never get to enjoy myself, and my daughter becomes a monster within a day of the other kids being here because I dont have time to give her attention. I love him and his kids, but something has to give.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 PM on Sep. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You asked this earlier. If it upsets you this much, leave his sorry ass. You aren't married, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Why are you? It's apparent he is taking advantage of you, obviously using you as a sitter.... that isn't love honey. Sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I'd say go one day without cleaning so he can see, but you'd end up working even harder the next day to clean it up.
    Maybe take the kids out of the house more? Park, zoo, walks around the block, or just playing outside so they can't destroy so much?
    I'd say "my house, my rules" and tell him if he doesn't agree with them, then he needs to make other arrangements for when he's not home.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:57 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • why do you keep posting anon, because you want to talk shit. I love hime very much!! I am carrying his child. I posted here because someone told me this is a relationship question. Let me quess you aren't married. Cause you dont know what it means to be in a relationship. You have to try. Taking advantage of me...he has supported me and my daughter for over a year so I can finish nursing school, because my mom kicked me out half way through. He has given me daughter a daddy and let me live with him when we had been dating for less than a year. He is not taking advantage of me, I am just asking for help because I am exhausted and I believe children need responsibility not hand outs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • it is his house and they are not here when he isn't home with the exception of his daughter on occasions
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I would go stay at a hotel or with family for a week and see if he changes how things in the home and with his children. I would give him a good scare....that's a little hard to do when your pregnant and have a daughter. Instead....you could just put their little asses in check, when you are home with them and taking care of them then you say what they can and cannot do PERIOD!!! If anyone has a problem with it then they can get off their lazy ass and take care of the kids. I would nip it in the butt soon and let them know who's boss. Do time outs and take fun toys away if they can't behave also ground them or put them to bed early.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

  • I would flat out tell him if he objects to the little chores you ask his kids to do, then he can do them himself. If that didnt work I wouldnt lift a finger till he helped. oh, you want dinner hunny, its in the fridge, make it yourself. Oh, the dishes are dirty? Thats a shame, maybe if you got the kids to help you a bit you could get them done.
    Obviously if you moved in with him, he was dealing with all this before you came along, ask him how he handled it then?
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 11:18 PM on Sep. 23, 2009

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