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How about a friendly topic?

Maybe we can discuss something that doesn't invite such conflict...like love. What defines love? Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Do soul mates exist? Can you be soul mates with someone of the same sex and still be heterosexual? Can you control who you fall in love with or is love a choice? When is love ever wrong?

 
jessflynn

Asked by jessflynn at 12:40 AM on Sep. 24, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 9 (363 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I agree with BUSY and will add, you KNOW it is love when the other person is more important than yourself. When the others happiness has more value to you than your own.

    If love is done right 2 people are operating that way, you never have to worry that YOU arent getting what you need because the one you love has it covered. I tell my kids to hold out for THAT kind of love. For someone who loves you that much and for someone you are willing to love that much. (Too much effort to function in just feelings you have to DECIDE to love someone that much)
    pammomof9

    Answer by pammomof9 at 12:49 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Love is a descision,Love is not a feeling.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 12:42 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • LOL some of these are conflict worrisome lol. Yes I believe in soul mates, I believe we have more than one and most of the aren't soul mates of the sexual kind. Love is wrong when it becomes destructive, most would say that, that isn't "real" love, but who are we to define what love is to one person.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:43 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Yeah.. there really is no safe topic... lol. Even "bragging" about your child brings conflict. It's scary.
    I believe in love at first sight - I experienced it twice, I can honestly say. My DH and my son. I know i'll experience it again with this baby, even though it's been giving me hell already! :D
    K_Sawyer

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 12:48 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I guess love can be controversial but I never considered it to be so in a bad way. And I like both answers so far. I'm impressed!
    jessflynn

    Answer by jessflynn at 12:48 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I don't think love is a decision at all! You can try to avoid it when you know it's wrong, but it will eventually take hold of you. I fell in love hard and will likely never fall that hard again. I fought against it for two years...I even quit my job to avoid the man I was in love with. But somehow, love would not let us separate. It was a wrong kind of love because he was married. That is why I left to avoid him but I could never stop loving him and he couldn't stop love me. We never physically acted on our love but it destroyed his marriage and ruined me for all other men. Even now that he is divorced, I have never been physically intimate with him. Whether out of misplaced or properly placed guilt, I don't know but I will never be able to stop loving him. All I can do is put distance between us so that I never give in.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I agree that love is not a decision. You cannot blame yourself for the failure of this man's marriage since you never physically acted on your love. Obviously there was something wrong with the marriage before you. But you can and will find love again...the universe is not so cruel that it would give you just a taste love and not let you fully experience it in all its wonder and glory!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I do believe in love at first sight, I also believe you dont always realize that is what your feeling in that moment. I was drawn to my DH before we were introduced, there was something about him I couldnt explain it. Now I know he is the love of my life, we complete each other, we just fit.

    I have never felt that way with anyone else, oh yeah I thought i was in love before then I found out that love means giving and taking , it means sticking by each other, feeling one anothers pain, accepting the other person exactly how they are and while it drives you nuts you love them for it anyway. It was never that way with anyone else there was always one giving and the other taking there was pain and there was a lack of acceptance one person always trying to change the other.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:02 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • To Anon 12:55am...I have a question, just curious. If he's divorced now, how come you guys can't be together, is it just because of the guilt? That's so sad if you guys really love each other!
    jillisue808

    Answer by jillisue808 at 9:55 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I believe in the beginning any one of us can convince ourselves we are in love. Eventually that new mushy feeling wears off and reality sets in. I think real love...committed love takes many qualities. Trust, dedication, respect, communication. I think when it comes to true love it is more about friendship and the desire or need to be with that person always, and sex is a small part of that kind of love. I think to older we become, the more important that respect and friendship becomes. I imagine it as if two people are trees planted next to each other. Your roots become so entangled with the others you do not know where you end and they begin. You cannot imagine living without them. Romantic love tends to fade...but true love then takes over, if you are willing to let it. My grandparents have been married 68yrs. I walked passed their room and he was brushing her hair...to me that is true love! ♥♥♥

    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:39 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

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