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I feel like the worst mother ever

I am a SAHM to a 3 year old girl who has a VERY bad attitude. I try my hardest to correct her behavior but it seems like nothing workds. Anyway I took her for her 3 year check up and the dr was real concerend about her behavior so she wants my dd to be evaulated by a temprement nurse and wants me to take parenting classes...I feel like a faluire. I have done everything I am supposed to do and she is VERY smart (the dr said that she speaks better than most 5 year old she sees) but I just don't know what to do....I feel like I failed.....any ladies out there that went through something like this please tell me what you did........

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Sep. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • i havent had a horrible time raising my kids, but man is it hard work! i will tell you though my sister got me this book called "touchpoints" and if you follow that book i promise you will see changes, dont let other people tell you wether or not you are a good parent, we all have to make mistakes to learn the proper way to raise children each one is very different in how they learn and what they need.

    Answer by lilmomma20 at 1:21 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Don't be so hard on yourself. We all have days like this. I pray that you feel better about yourself and that your daughter is fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • i think the temprement nurse is a good idea but its such an insult to tell you you need to take parenting classes!

    Answer by pookipoo at 1:38 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • look at it as beneficial, you already said that you're daughter has an attitude problem, and that you've tried all you know how to try. hopefully by taking a parenting course, you will find other options to help you in stopping the trouble before she gets older. and the fact that the doc sees it and wants to make sure she doesn't have any underlying problems that cause it, is good as well, this way if there is a problem you can start to work on it now, not 5 years from now. you aren't a bad mom, you are a good mom b/c you realize you need the help and are going to take it. :)

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:40 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • OP here- you know what made it even worse when she suggested that i take parenting classes? my MIL was in the room!!!!! that just felt GREAT!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • OP, how early did her attitude start? im a new mom and wondering...

    Answer by Bernie19 at 1:49 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • OP here- Here attitude didn't get really bad until she was about 2 and a half....when we switched her to a toddler bed and took her binkies away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • She's 3. They act up. Do you expect a perfectly behaved child? These things take time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Anon :30 I don't think the dr. would have made note of it had it not been more than the normal 3 yr. old. And yes, there is a HUGE difference between a normal 3 yr. old acting up and a 3 yr. old that may have a special need acting up.

    OP-the temperment nurse is a good idea. Hopefully she will at least know where to refer you if it isn't just normal 3 yr. old behavior. Now, for the parenting classes, it isn't an insult to you. I parented one way for years with my boys, then my daughter, well, nothing I knew how to do worked. So dd's therapist had me learn the Love and Logic method because it works with special needs children too. Many normal methods don't work with children who have ADHD, High functioning Autism, ODD etc. Whereas the method she had me learn tends to work with a variety of issues. All they are saying is that the method you know isn't working effectively.

    Answer by Petie at 2:38 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • So take advantage of the classes and see them for what they are, assistance to you.

    Hang in there. I have been there, done that, and really they are not insulting but they have to try everything else before determining if it is an issue with you or if your daughter has an issue.

    Answer by Petie at 2:39 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

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