Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Son still won't sleep well on his own at 11 months...any help?

My son would be a great sleeper if he would just stay asleep! He takes 2 wonderful naps from 45min to 1.5 hrs. and he falls asleep in about 1-5 minutes for those naps. He also falls asleep great for bedtime. The problem is that, especially at night, he wakes up so often. Its like clockwork 30-45 minutes in, he's awake. I read the "No Cry Sleep Sol." book and I try to stop him from waking up but once his eyes are open and he sees he's not in my arms, I have to pick him up and put him back to sleep. I only have to hold him for a min or so, but then he wakes up like 15 min later. He won't be put "in" anything to sleep (playpen, crib) so we have converted his crib early and pushed it up to a full size bed in his room where I sleep. He won't get attached to anything- except me. He cries if anone else puts him to sleep, including my husband. He gets his last bottle at 7:00pm and goes until 6:30-7:00am till his next one.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:20 AM on Sep. 24, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (9)
  • I think that it may be time to try something else. We did CIO at 5 mos when we took our paci away. It worked for us in a few days. My LO only wakes once a night (usually from a bad dream) that we have to console for, but that is becoming a 3-4 time a week thing vs. every night. You don't have to let him cry long. Just check on him every 5 mins or so and just rub his back but don't pick him up. I know this sounds a little harsh compared to what you have done. Give him a special blankie or a lovey and he will become attached. Just try this for a few nights and see what happens. It worked well for us and I know other people that it has worked well for. He is waking b/c he is getting what he wants and it is you. I wish you luck.

    Answer by coala at 8:28 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • thanks...i don't like to do cio, however we did try that and it didn't work for us. there is no consoling him when he is alone in his crib, he would just scream for hours. i've been trying to get him attached to a lovey since birth he hasn't formed any attachments except to me. i'm not convinced he is waking just because he wants me, the "no cry sleep sol." book explanes him perfectly, but her suggestions haven't helped. he wakes up 30-45 min after we put him to sleep, according to the book it is because he is changing sleep cycles. i think after he wakes up is when he wants me. i'm not trying to be a textbook mom, but all the info and ideas help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:39 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • If when he wakes up you go and pick him up, he cannot learn how to self sooth. He is old enough that if he wakes up he should be able to sooth himself back to sleep, and by you going and picking him up this cycle will never be broken. Also, there is no reason why you need to sleep in the room with him, he can sense that you are there and therefore will not learn to go back to sleep on his own. It may be tough on you, but you need to try the CIO method again, he has to learn to be on his own and not have mommy come to him each time he wakes up. You will be happier in the future if you fix this problem now, not to mention that you will get more sleep yourself!

    Answer by emnasmom at 9:15 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • With my first child it took a while to get her to go to sleep when she was put down at night cause I was bad and got her in the habit of sitting on my lap to fall asleep. It took about a week to change that. The first two nights she cried for total of 1 1/2 - 2 hrs each. Now I say that I would go in every 10-15 mins and talk to her and comfort her(not picking her up) for about 3 mins then leave the room again. She finally got herself to sleep. The 3rd night it was about 20 - 30 min and then she was out. After that it worked. There were nights that she would go back to the crying but not very often. I would move your little one out of your room and then give it another try on CIO. It is hard! If this still doesn't work talk to your doctor and see what they say.

    Answer by Katysmom at 10:16 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Check out the book by Ferber, Solve your child's sleep problems (I think is what it's called)... his method is CIO but I don't think you would have to do it. But he explains in a great analogy about sleep. After reading this book all we had to do is figure out what WE were doing to prevent my son from being a good sleeper. We changed our routine and within 3 days he was sleeping through the night.
    It seems from your first post he has alot of sleep associations (things he NEEDS to fall asleep) and those are the things you fix so that he learns to self soothe and doesn't need to be rocked, held or only go to sleep for you and no one else.

    Answer by AmiJanell at 10:38 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Sounds like it's time for CIO. We did it with my DD starting at 2 mos. and she started sleeping on her own at 5 mos. She would get up like clockwork every 3 hrs. One night I said I would not feed her until 5 hrs. had passed. She woke up after 3 and DH and I took turns patting her back to sleep. We didn't pick her up but we also didn't ignore her completely. It only took about 3 or 4 nights for her to get the hint and that week she started going 6+ hrs. She is not an easy baby by any means and is very stubborn so it surprised me at how quickly it worked. I am a firm believer that children need to be taught how and when to sleep and a little tough love never hurt anyone. Your LO is old enough, a little crying is not going to hurt him.

    Answer by danielp at 12:16 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • It's going to be a rough couple nights, no doubt about that but the pay off is tremendous. My DD goes to bed at 6 or 7pm and we have all night together to do stuff. It is great!

    Answer by danielp at 12:17 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Mine was very much like yours but I didn't have the Pantley book. Did have Ferber. It went back to the library as a dismal failure.

    What worked? Paying attention to his patterns. I didn't put him to bed by the clock, I put him down when he was sleepy. When he woke, I tended to his needs IMMEDIATELY. He started stretching his sleep periods out. Never slept dusk to dawn but he still doesn't do that, and neither do I. Nor does my husband, for that matter. So no biggie there.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:54 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • thank you gdiamante, its nice to read some caring advice! sometimes it's nice to know that there are others out there that are going through the same thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.