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Fiance is out of town on business trip

He left yesterday and he called me once at 1:30 when his plane arrived to tell me he forgot his cell phone. Then he never called me again the rest of the day. I am pissed. I know he isn't doing anything like fooling around with someone. But isn't a husband or wife who is traveling supposed to call at the end of the day to say good night? Isn't this standard? Am I right to be mad?

He doesn't travel very often and he pulled this when we were just BF and GF. He always had an excuse that he hates traveling and when he goes to his room he just collapses in bed. He was just a BF back then and even though I was bugged, I didn't say much. That was a year ago. Now we are 1 month away from our wedding. What should I say to him?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on Sep. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • wow, Im sorry sweetie. My husband practicly lives out of town working. He calls me ALL THE TIME. He calls on his way, when he gets there, texts before work, calls after, before shower, after....ect. I would be really upset. I would say is this how you are gonna treat your soon to be wife? I would appriate a call. I am sitting here worried about you and would like to know that you are at least thinking of me....good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Talk to him and tell him how much it bugs you. Explain to him that you like to hear his voice at the end of the day when he's not there and while you understand heis tired from traveling, you'd appreciate even just a little quick goodnight from him before his passes out for the night. He should understand.

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 9:30 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • IMO, if he is traveling and working, I am sure he is tired and probably does get in and pass out. I am usually the one to go on business trips in my relationship and I do not always call. If my SO got mad at me about a simple thing like that, I would try but if he got pushy, he'd no longer be my SO. But he isn't like that. He and I have trust and we both know niether one of us would break that even if we don't call everyday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • You let him get away with it for a didn't speak up,

    He can't read your mind and may not feel that it is important so unless you want to live with it the rest of your life, OPEN YOU MOUTH and tell him.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:30 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Honestly, no. I don't think you have a right to be mad. Simply because this has happened before and you didn't tell him that it bothered you.

    Tell him now. Tell him that you would like a call before he goes to bed.


    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 9:35 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • My DH goes out of town on business all the time. As long as he calls me once a day. I am happy. It does not matter what time a day. 

    If you want him to call you at night before you go to bed, tell him. Or just call him. If he refuses to do so. Is this going to stop you from marrying him?


    Answer by louise2 at 9:42 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Men don't magically change when they go from being bf's to fiancees to husband's. If you want something, talk to him - and don't expect any huge changes in behavior overnight.

    Answer by missanc at 9:53 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I know it's hard, and I know you miss him and want to talk to him - BELIEVE ME - I TOTALLY understand that - my dh goes away with his job all the time. There are times I go several days without an email, and go with one phone call a month. But sometimes he has no control over it, and sometimes, as he says, he just doesn't have anything specific to tell me, and to call / email just to do it makes him more lonely and miserable. Maybe your guy feels the same way?

    Look at it like this - would you rather have a man who loves you and who's faithful to you and not doing anything inappropriate on his business trips, but who doesn't call every day, or would you rather a man who called you every night to say goodnight, I love you - then headed out to pick up some woman in a bar?

    I would talk to him, but try to not be so upset about it :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:59 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • to clarify - when he says he doesn't have anything specific to say, he means other than I love you and I miss you. It makes him depressed and homesick sometimes, when all he has to say is that. He would rather just wait to talk to me.

    If he (your guy) was being really inconsiderate, he wouldn't call at all, even from the airport. But, if you want him to call more often - then you can pack his phone for him when he's getting ready to go, and call HIM to tell him goodnight, you love him :-)

    gl :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:02 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • just tell him you cant sleep if you dont know he is okay.... make the guilt do the work for you.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:03 AM on Sep. 24, 2009

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