Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When do you think a school has overstepped its boundaries?

I received an email from my son's middle school regarding progress reports. At the bottom was a numbered list of information of how to make "transition" easier for tweens. Included in that was the below:

"bedtime should be by 10:00pm. 9:30 would be better."
"everyone should eat dinner together. The tv, radio, computer, should be off and everyone should be prepared to discuss their day."
"keep your own desk, bedroom, etc. clean." (as in mine as the parent)
"read, do chores or pay bills while your child is doing homework"


I understand that they may be suggesting "tips" and most of this I do already, but I kind of resent the school stepping in to tell me how to parent. Do you think sending home emails about how to run our household is overstepping their boundaries?

Answer Question
 
geminilove

Asked by geminilove at 12:24 PM on Sep. 24, 2009 in

Level 23 (17,006 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Yeah, the way it's worded sounds a bit over the line. It would've sounded better if they had sent a letter home with "tips" to help the children with ideas listed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I don't think so at all. There are many parents who do none of those things, get offended by the suggestion and then wonder why their child is doing poorly in school. The transition from elementary to middle school is a huge one. Couple that with raging hormones and parents who don't uunderstand how important those basics are and you have a perfect mix for trouble.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • No I think it's about fricken time, you may be a responsible parent, but there are many that aren't.
    The schools can't get a break, they either don't do enough or over step their boundries
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:40 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I never ate dinner at the table growing up. Our TV's were always on. But we spent time together. My Mom and I would watch movies or go for drives. Hell we didnt even have a dining table. I had all A's I graduated high school right after I turned 16 because I was so far ahead. I think their "tips" can be good for some families but thats not always the case. If your routine works for you then screw the school. My little sister is in the GATE program. Its all advanced classes and what not. She does extremely well in school also. It has nothing to do with dinner and TV its all about parenting
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I think that at worst, they're guilty of wording it poorly. But honestly, what may seem common sense to you and me is NOT to a lot of parents. Middle school is a big leap and is typically a time when students are at risk for faltering. Sending home a list of suggestions to make the transition easier isn't telling you how to run your household. I think you're being a little over sensitive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Well, I think MOST schools overstep their bounds as the norm these days. ANYTHING beyond academics, IMO, is overstepping.

    Telling me what my kids can wear, eat, what they can pierce, how they can style their hair, when I can see them in school, when they'll be kept after & for how long, that they need to be medicated, etc.

    Even within academics, I don't feel they're doing their job. If my child is advanced, they should be allowed to move to a higher grade or at least into an advanced class - period. There should be no "red tape" there. If my child is struggling, extra care should be automatic to ensure my child "gets it"... but that doesn't happen often either.

    The ISD I live in is SO backwards (sticking their noses in where it's none of their business & turning a blind eye to the things they shouldn't) that I REFUSE to send my kids there. We've chosen to homeschool.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 1:54 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I don't think it's overstepping. I think they're good tips and some parents have no clue.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:00 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • when I see mothers on here talking about whether they are "allowed" to take their own kids on a vacation if it means missing a day or two, as though learning never happens outside of specific buildings.
    when I see moms here ask if it's their "place" to say something when their kid comes home from school with lessons which are factually incorrect.

    just a couple of the reasons I homeschool . . .
    autodidact

    Answer by autodidact at 3:18 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • ya i think there over stepping,whats was up with that.they would have gotten a email back hmm not a email but a letter to make sure they get it...not all of us parents are idiots.ya teachers have a hard job i agree but.nobody is going to tell me i have to give my child hamburgers and carrots with a salad and everyone sit together and contimplate pye to the 4th power. and then go to bed ...but they hate to see me coming anyway...ya im one of those parents....
    nana77500

    Answer by nana77500 at 7:36 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Sep. 24, 2009 by: autodidact
    when I see mothers on here talking about whether they are "allowed" to take their own kids on a vacation if it means missing a day or two, as though learning never happens outside of specific buildings.
    when I see moms here ask if it's their "place" to say something when their kid comes home from school with lessons which are factually incorrect.

    just a couple of the reasons I homeschool . . .

    OK but what do either of those issues have to do with this post?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.