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Looking into adoption

Hi. Me and my husband have been TTC now for 3 years with no luck. We have decided to start the adoption process. We would prefer a child that is from overseas, but I've heard that is much more expensive. So a domestic adoption seems appropriate for us. How do we get started first? Do we have to own a home in order to adopt? We currently live in an apartment that we both love. Any help would be appreciated!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Sep. 24, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (11)
  • I have always heard that international adoptions are cheaper. I must be missing something.

    I think you are a troll! I woudl NEVER give a child to a couple that is renting. I bet it isnt a necessity to own, but if you cant afford to own your own home than that doesnt look very good when it comes to the financial aspect of raising a child
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Maybe some people dont want to own a home! I used to own...in fact I owned 2 homes w/ my ex. When we got divorced & I remarried, my new husband had never owned a home. We still rent now even though we can afford a home because we dont want the maintenance headaches of a home. There are many reasons a person might be renting. Why is this person a troll because they rent? You can raise a child just fine renting instead of owning a home!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • "I have always heard that international adoptions are cheaper. I must be missing something.

    I think you are a troll! I woudl NEVER give a child to a couple that is renting. I bet it isnt a necessity to own, but if you cant afford to own your own home than that doesnt look very good when it comes to the financial aspect of raising a child"

    Wow...well you sound like a BITCH
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • International adoptions are indeed usually more long & involved & are more expensive then some domestic adoptions. The least expensive option for adopting is foster care. It can be nearly free in some cases. You might look into that. Otherwise, you can contact an agency or an adoption lawyer for help in domestic adoptions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I don't think you need to own a home to adopt, it's great that you want to adopt there are so many children out there that need a loving family, my bf was one of them. Good for you for wanting to adopt, you should join some adoptive groups to find out more about this subject. To the first responder, Shame on you! You're the one who sounds like a troll. I'm sure there are many people who rent and make well over what you do your coment makes you sound like an ignorant judgmental moron. If you can't write something productive maybe you should keep your ridiculous thoughts to your self....I would NEVER want some one like you watching my child.
    michelle0228

    Answer by michelle0228 at 2:32 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • There are many ways in which to adopt and may have different requirements about finances, housing, personal history, etc. I'd advise you to look into international, foster care, as well as domestic adoption. You may have one thing in mind now, but as you gather information may find something else that draws your attention along the way. That's what happened to us. As I've said often, what I knew about adoption in the beginning would have fit into a thimble, LOL! When we first wanted to adopt, all we knew was that some friends had gone to a local Christian agency so I went and got the packet. Some other friends had adopted thru foster care, so we studied that as well. Our adoption will be finalized in the next few months. Finally! Best wishes and good luck to you!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 2:40 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • devilAnons are hot-tempered today! Wow!

    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 2:43 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • DBF is right.. you need to research the different adoption routes thoroughly.
    Foster care- done through the state/county level. Minimal fees if any, the state may give a subsidy depending on the child. Some states require you to be a licensed foster parent before trying to adopt a child. Not all children will be able to be adopted as TPR may never be signed.
    Domestic Infant- typically done through an agency or attorney. Fees/ paperwork involved. With this method you usually have to wait on an expectant mother to pick your family. This can take days or years. Also, you need to know the adoption laws of your state. They vary in every state.
    International- done through an agency, TONS of paperwork, can be very expensive. The wait can be very long. You could get a referral for a 2 week old and travel/ meet your child a year later. It depends on the country's process.
    I would suggest that you research the effects of adoption..
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 2:55 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • as in attachment and bonding. Talk to first moms, adoptees, as well as adoptive parents in your research. You also need to research attachment issues such as Reactive Attachment Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder,and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Not all children that are adopted will have an attachment disorder. However, just about every adoptee will experience grief at one point in their life. As an a- parent you will need to know how to aid your child in dealing with their grief. Also, if you adopt internationally, you have to be prepared for the possibility of having no information about your child's first family...this means your child will probably never have the answers they may seek later in life.
    My dd was adopted from China. We know zilch. She has been home for 2.5 years and is a well adjusted little girl. If you have any questions, please pm me.
    mcginnisc

    Answer by mcginnisc at 3:03 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Anon 1:03, why should a person have to own a home to adopt? Do you hate all people who adopt? I sense some animosity. I am sorry if you are hurting, but that doesn't make it okay to lash out at other people.

    OP - no, you do not need to own a home. Others have answered your questions very well. It sounds like you are in the early stages, so you have a lot of research to do. I remember how overwhelming that was. Just keep looking until you find the path that feels right to you. Ignore hate-filled people and those who will criticize you for your well-thought-out decisions. Best of luck!
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:11 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

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