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I am doing a survey on what people feel about "hooking up" and dating

The concepts of courting or dating have dramatically changed over the last few decades. In comparison to dating or courting customs of the past (blind marriages, bundling, etc) and the current hanging out and/or hooking out phenomena which form of dating: traditional courting or present-day hooking up --- Which do you believe increases the chances for a healthy and stable relationship and why? And how would you define "hooking up" and dating?

Answer Question
 
gangstamami66

Asked by gangstamami66 at 3:18 PM on Sep. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (58 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Hooking up is a one-night stand or a friend with benefits
    Dating is someone with whom you are persueing a potential long-term relationship.

    I think if people had to work harder for the privelige of dating, that they may not take it so much for granted.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I define "dating" as repeatedly making appointmens to spend time with someone for the purpose of determining if you want to be a couple. I define "hooking up" as finding someone (at a party, bar, get-together, etc.) with whom to make out or have sex--it's a one-night-stand, sometimes without full-on sex.

    I suspect that "traditional" dating is more likely to produce a healthy, stable relationship than "hooking up." You can't assume any further intent from hooking up with someone; misunderstandings are likely, especially when your brain starts producing a bunch of chemicals that go with the excitement of a new partner.
    With traditional dating, both people are effectively interviewing each other for the role of possible partner. There's always the risk of one person wanting to become a permanent couple and the other not wanting that, but the probability that the other person is looking for that is built in from the start.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 3:34 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I agree with anon :23. People are more open sexually and that leads to one night stands (hookups). There are the exceptions, though, and those are the people who end up with healthy loving relationships.
    r_elizabeth2290

    Answer by r_elizabeth2290 at 3:36 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Good answer SWasson.

    At this point in my life I believe in old-fashioned dating/courting minus the sex. I think it complicates things. I believe you can have a clearer picture of how you truly feel about someone and how they feel about you if you are NOT having sex. My DF and I have been officially dating since March, we've lived together for a little over three months now and we are getting married at the end of October. We have NOT had sex. Let me tell you something, if you can find a man nowadays who loves you enough NOT to have sex with you until your wedding night, you have found someone special. I just don't think I could do the whole "hooking-up" thing. Sex is too personal to share with some random person. I have to love someone before I can have sex with them at this point in my life.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 4:43 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

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