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Nadir Of Western Civilization To Be Reached This Friday At 3:32 P.M.

WASHINGTON—An international panel of leading anthropologists, cultural critics, biologists, and social theorists announced this week that Western civilization will reach its lowest conceivable point at 3:32 p.m. Friday.

"From the prehistoric Lascaux cave paintings to the stirring symphonies of Mozart to today's hot-dog eating competitions and action films with comical gerbils, culture has descended into a festering pool of mass ignorance," said Yale sociologist Paul Riordan, who has spent his career analyzing western civilization's fall into the depths of depravity. "If our calculations are correct, this complete erosion of all that is enlightened and unique will reach absolute rock bottom on the afternoon of Sept. 25, 2009."

Added Riordan, "It is scientifically impossible for civilization to sink any lower than it will this Friday."


Asked by stacymomof2 at 9:19 PM on Sep. 24, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Level 23 (18,390 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • love that the article is illustrated in part with a Thomas Kinkade (The Painter of Blight!®) painting, but take exception to their inclusion of a Looney Tunes character.

    I loves me some Onion. : )


    Answer by autodidact at 9:35 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • The link

    What do you think?  True?



    Answer by stacymomof2 at 9:20 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I LOVE the Onion! The funniest part is that so many people take the Onion seriously. I always get a chuckle out of it.

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 9:42 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I love it too...I was reading it on the train today after work and this article had more than just a grain of truth to it.

    Answer by stacymomof2 at 9:55 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Lmao! Thanks for that.

    Unfortunately, I doubt it's going to be at it's worst on friday.

    Answer by lovinangels at 10:15 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • September 25th will forever is "do sump'en stoopid day" LMAO that's funny.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 11:14 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • lol i could have told you that. people are sheeps baaa they just follow and dont even think.

    Answer by IraqiVetWife at 9:34 PM on Jul. 2, 2010