Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If you were a victim of sexual assault would you file a civil suit against your abuser?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Sep. 24, 2009 in About CafeMom

Answers (10)
  • No. Because it would be a waiste of my money. I would probably never see any money even if I won. Having to see his face again!! No thank you!!!

    Answer by louise2 at 9:45 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Actually, I probably have to bail my father and husband out of jail, so I wouldn't have the money. It also wouldn't be worth my time, he probably wouldnt have any money anyway. But, if he done this before and was released before his jail term was up, I would definantely be suing the city.

    Answer by Kaelansmom at 9:52 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • No. Been there done that. It was my word against his, they only thing it cost him was his wife. Not worth it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I have been & no I did not. Hard enough to get through the rest of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:49 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Clasic case of MJ

    I's rather do it the old fashioned way and just press plain old charges.

    Answer by sugahmamma at 1:58 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I was abused, and no, I wouldn't.

    First of all, my abuser killed himself rather than go to jail. Second of all, even if he hadn't, no amount of money would ever be enough to equal my lost innocence, or repay me for what I went through, and I believe that the person who abused me would have viewed a payment of a civil suit as just that. That once he paid, then we were "even", that basically I had set a price on what he did to me, and he paid it. He had that attitude in other areas of his life - that everyone had a price.

    To sue him for money, and have him pay it and think he paid my "price" would just make me want to vomit.

    But, in different circumstances, or with a different abuser, I might have felt differently.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 11:05 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Isn't the point of the civil suit to prove that he no longer has control over you and that these actions come with a consequence.  Why is it that women are always to scared to make a stand!!!  I tired of being scared now I'm just plain angry at the fact my life was altered at the hands of someone else!!


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I would only do so if that were the only way to punish the person.

    If it would make you feel better to do so then I suggest you do. However, I think the reason most wouldn't is because there is no guarantee that the civil suit be decided in your favor. Personally, I would feel violated all over again. I can't imagine that that would achieve the goals you mention.

    Best of luck Hon, I hope you find peace.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • anon,

    Please don't misunderstand me - I did take a stand - I was a child - my abuser started when I was 6, and continued until I was in 7th grade. Yes, I should have come forward sooner, but I was a child, there were a lot of other issues, and I did, eventually, get the courage to tell. Not only did I tell, but I came forward and pressed charges.

    I can respect that in some cases, filing a civil suit would be an appropriate action, but in my case, which was all I was speaking for, it wouldn't have been appropriate, even if my abuser hadn't killed himself rather than go to prison.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:22 AM on Sep. 26, 2009

  • He was not a stranger. This person was someone I was with for a long time. When I left he did not want to give up control this will be my only way to punish him, Things were very crazy and back in May, I did not press charges. I stll have no comfort and struggle everyday. I want a way to feel like I have gained control of my life back!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Sep. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.