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Postpartum question... not sure where to post but need HELP!

I had my second daughter 3 weeks ago, this past week i have felt really disconnected. I feel scared i dont love my girls enough or that i may love one more than the other or that i havent bonded enough with my new baby. I find myself comparing my first daughter to my second and being really hard on myself. Sometimes i wonder if i was even cut out for this motherhood thing. I look at my new baby and sometimes pick out flaws and wonder if she is cute. I know this sounds sad but i just dont know why i feel this way. i kinda just wish i was still pregnant, i love both my babies but im really struggling. is this normal? Please dont bash i have a hard time even admitting this!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Sep. 24, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (5)
  • I went through similar feelings after I had my first son... I would look at him and think "gee, it would be so easy to just drop him and break his head open" and things of that nature- I'm a pretty non-violent person and even admitting that I felt this way was very hard for me. I scheduled an appointment to meet with my mid-wife and burst into tears when she asked how I was feeling.

    I went on an antidepressent (Sylexa). It helped tremendously. I strongly recommend talking to a dr. if you aren't feeling like yourself. I am sure that you love both of your children equally- but a lot happens inside of our bodies that we aren't always able to control on our own after we have a kid. You deserve to have happiness and to feel good aobut yourself and your family. Try to get some sleep- and call your dr. in the morning.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • What you are going through is normal. Many women feel this way. If it continues for longer than a couple weeks without feeling any better, or if it gets any worse, you need to call your doctor to discuss postpartum depression. But you are a good mother to be so concerned and you are definately being too hard on yourself. Give yourself a break and spend some time with your babies. You're doing great, mamma!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:33 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • Call your doctor/ob-gyn first thing in the morning and tell them you believe you may be suffering from PPD - as hard as it is, you have to do it and get help. Don't let it go, or it could potentially get worse. You may not have to be on drugs, you may be able to do well with talking with a therapist. GL and hugs mama!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 PM on Sep. 24, 2009

  • I agree Ati 13 that this sounds normal. It's common for mothers to wonder if they can love a second child as much as the first. It sounds like you are feeling some of this. It is tough being a new mom and many of us wonder at times if we were cut out to do it.

    Give yourself some time. If you are breastfeeding it seems like more mothering hormones kick in around 6 weeks.

    Answer by Gailll at 4:04 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Go to the Dr. PLEASE!! I felt very similar when DD was born and I didnt want to admit it. So I let it go and my PPD almost spiraled out of control. I suffered for months and months. Please dont make the same mistake! *hugs*

    Answer by ma2b08 at 8:44 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

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