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What do you think of the birthmom fighting to have her daughters adoption overturned?

I keep seeing this story over and over again in some of the other forums so i bought the people magazine the story was in and looked at her website, and both follow close to the article in people magazine and i am wondering what others think about his. it is defintely something that is hard to decide if you ask me but i'm wondering what others think about it. here is the link to her website

http://www.bringperihome.com/index.html

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:27 AM on Sep. 25, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (55)
  • The little girl knows who her birth family is. The mother and sisters have been allowed to visit her a few times, and this little girl does know she is adopted.

    They shouldn't have promised anything they had no intention of upholding. The fact that they admitted that if the open adoption agreement been legally enforceable, they would not have proceeded with the adoption says a helluva lot. They wanted a baby and got one, by any means neccessary. They should have kept their damned promises. Peri didn't fall from the sky, she came from a living, breathing woman who loved her. I hope this woman wins. Maybe once open adoptions are legally enforceable, it will make everyone involved really think about their individual situations. Adoptive parents can't close adoptions for BS reasons, birth parents can't use the "it's too hard excuse" to back away....it's meant for the child, and the adults have to pull their heads-
    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 2:15 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I just read this all and it is just terrifying. I have to say though I am concerned that she still wants to include the adoptive parents in her daughters life after she gets her back. I would be terrified that they would kidnap her and poof disappear. I am actually thinking that might happen before the courts get things settled.
    auroura

    Answer by auroura at 1:15 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • This story is horrible. It does seem that the AParents went into this knowing that they would promise the moon and stars and yet deliver none of it...but only after the child was legally theirs after finalization. Although the BParents were treated hideously by these people, I would bet that Peri isn't. I'm betting she is a happy, well-adjusted child who knows nothing of her adoption...and, if her AParents have any say, never will. I understand the BParents want/need to get Peri back after being lied to and deceived in such a way, but I don't know if changing parents at this time would be best for Peri. She is almost 6 years old and to take her from the only parents she has ever known and put her in a strange situation could easily mess up any child.

    I'm with auroura, I think the AParents will run if the BParents regain custody. They've already gone this far, what's another 10 feet, ya know?
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 1:36 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • out of their backsides and work together to make this a good experience for their child. There is no such thing as the "nuclear family" when it comes to adoption. The child has two separate sets of parents, and all the adults need to recognize this.
    randi1978

    Answer by randi1978 at 2:16 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I don't think it's in the child's best interest to be returned ( if fact it's impossible). To expect the child to adopt to living in another home, with different" parents" and in totally different environment is setting the child and situation up for doom. The bmom IS allowed/was visits until 2008. The aparents then stopped them because of the tension between the two, which is understandable. The bmom most likely wont win, but she may be given more visitation and the legal status of "mother" returned to her. But I wonder, what good will that do, when the child will still be raised by the aparents? She will want the child raised one way and the aprents another way. How sad. I think she needs to move on and enjoy what she has ( limited visitation).

    Also, Randi:

    In regards to a achild having to sets of parents that's for the adoptee to decide. I'm an adoptee and I only have one set o parents-the ones that raised me. I hav
    yssasa

    Answer by yssasa at 2:37 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • As I recall, Peri knows about her adoption and her sisters. And, the adoptive parents are NOT the only family she has ever known. Being with your family is not a "strange situation". The experts that the mother says will help with the transition are well known for their expertise in adoption as well.

    If the adoptive parents used fraud and lies to get the little girl, they should not be allowed to get away with that. I don't share the opinion that people who do things these aparents are alleged to have done are probably good parents. Good parents do not commit fraud to get a baby. It reflects very badly on their character and their parenting abilities. What kind of example have they set for this little girl?

    AAK, didn't you recently say that at one point in your adoption that you would have "done anything," or something along those lines, "to have been able to keep your daughter"?
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 2:40 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Cont.....


    I have my bioparnts and "my' parents. I think sometimes OA's go bad, because some ( not all), bparents see themselves as the child's "other" parents and boundries are crossed. I think the bmom in this case thought that she and her then hubby would be co-parenting as in 'the child is being riased by ALL four of us".

    To be honest, I hope for the child's sake the judge throws out the case.

    -Yssasa
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • "As I recall, Peri knows about her adoption and her sisters. And, the adoptive parents are NOT the only family she has ever known. Being with your family is not a "strange situation". The experts that the mother says will help with the transition are well known for their expertise in adoption as well.

    If the adoptive parents used fraud and lies to get the little girl, they should not be allowed to get away with that. I don't share the opinion that people who do things these aparents are alleged to have done are probably good parents. Good parents do not commit fraud to get a baby. It reflects very badly on their character and their parenting abilities. What kind of example have they set for this little girl? "

    I can't agree with you on this. The child maybe happy, thriving and health. The bmom doesn't know the child (or have a close bparent/child relationship) she see's her once a year. It's impossiable to except the ch
    yssasa

    Answer by yssasa at 2:47 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • "To expect the child to adopt to living in another home, with different" parents" and in totally different environment is setting the child and situation up for doom."

    That happens frequently in foster care and foreign adoptions. And, I think many amoms might disagree that their children do not adapt to their homes. Plus, I imagine they also do not believe that adopting an older child means they are doomed to fail. If you followed some of the cases in the past that children were returned to their biological families, those children have adapted.

    Plus, there is a huge difference between putting an older child in a family of strangers and into their biological family where members are connected to them even if they have not been living together.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 2:51 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • (Cont)

    child to be "reprogrammed" to adopt herself into a new environment IF the bmom should win. I think the bmom IS being selfish for causing emotional turmoil to the child by having her (the child) wonder if she will no longer will be with her "mommy & daddy". That's a scary thing for a child to have to bare. She's probably in counseling know because of the stress this case has bought to the family. The courts might not see the bmom as the "right" mother to raise her child; after all, if she really wanted to keep her child, she would have! The courts most likely will see her as a "bad" mother because she was already a mom when she placed. That's how the courts are.

    P.S. These aren't my personal views, it's how the court system thinks

    Yssasa
    yssasa

    Answer by yssasa at 2:55 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

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