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My husband's sales job has reduced his commission and he is earning a lot less that he used to but he has more time with our children because he can make his own schedule. Why do I feel so resentful for having to pay all of the bills? I do earn more money but I am so broke and don't even have money for gas or lunch sometimes. I also pawned my wedding ring and some other jewlry just to pay the mortgage which still ended up bouncing?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 AM on Sep. 25, 2009 in Money & Work

Answers (15)
  • I am sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. I used to make more than my SO too. It is tough to know that dad gets to be the fun one, while mom works all the time and stresses out. Our lives have changed since then, I am now a WAHM, with a great opportunity, and SO has recieved a promotion and a lot more hours with his job. The dynamic has changed to him making more money and paying all the bills. I am still not 100% happy with this arrangement either...because I am so used to it being the other way around, but we are working through it. I hope you can resolve some of your issues sooner than later, I know it is an awful feeling to work as hard as you can and feel like you arent getting anywhere. If you would like, you can PM me. I work for a company that helps regular families save money on the stuff they already buy, at the places they already shop. I am happy to share other $$$ tricks too!
    Cheapsk8mom

    Answer by Cheapsk8mom at 4:41 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Have you made all of the cuts to your budget that you can? Here are some great tips for saving money at the grocery store; send me a message offlist if you would like some budget-stretching recipes (that are healthy and taste good) http://www.ehow.com/how_5223945_save-even-money-grocery-store.html


     

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:15 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Why do you not share the finances? Put all your money together? Pay the bills and divide up what is left?
    Rebecca727

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 8:06 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • obviously your expenses outreach your income, and liking or disliking your husband right now won't correct that.
    time for someone in that house to take on an additional part time job, and start cutting your expenses on phones, tv and food, utilities.
    you need to make a decision today on what your necessities are and how willing the two of you are to provide for the family.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:11 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • I agree with jewjewbee. It will feel so much better when you and your SO are a team scheming together how to reduce expenses and increase income. The metaphor in my mind is it's like you are in your family rowboat and both are sitting on the seat together each with an oar in the water keeping the boat afloat for your family and pulling together to get to the future you want. We pool our money and come to agreement on decisions about jobs and expenditures, go over what the expenses were over the last month, tracked our use of cash, etc., and help each other figure out what next job possibilities would be a good next step to getting us each increasingly higher rates/hour worked. It was a first a little tense, but got better over time. It also helps if part of the discussion is how you see your life together in 3,5,10 years, to elevate the mood, have joint vision/goals.
    annie2244

    Answer by annie2244 at 8:43 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Get this book (or loan it from the library) Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. You will find that it's not about the amount of money you make.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • Staying home with the children is simply not a valid excuse. He is going to have to be a contributing member of society. Honey, in the near future there is going to be NO WELFARE, so everyone who wants to survive is going to have to get their butts out there and work. This SAHM crap is not going to fly much longer. No one is going to be able to do it. NO ONE.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • First of all you should always make room in your income to pay your Mortgage. Even if you have to cut back on other bills. You should always pay that. Because you need a place to live. Sounds like you need to get rid of some bills you do not need or can do without. Like phone, cable/satellite, Internet, and other thing that are not necessary.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:55 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • This SAHM crap is not going to fly much longer. No one is going to be able to do it. NO ONE.

    You are so fully of crap.

    OP women stay home all the time and allow their husbands to stress over paying the bills and earning all the money. Sorry I cannot be more sympathetic to you simply because you are a woman. Get a second job or ask him to find another one. You should not feel resentful would you want him to resent you because he feels you are not pulling your wait. Now is when you both should pull together and find ways to cut your budget so you do have the things you need. Cellphones, cable, internet and junk food are wants. Needs are gas for the car, food, roof over your head, electricity and water. Work together and you will lose your resentment.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

  • My husband is on disability, and I work full time, but he does do side jobs when he can. He is my SAHD to our 3 year old toddler. We have serious financial issues too, but we always make it through the month, sometimes just barely. I realize that cell phones, internet, and cable and stuff are wants and not needs, but when you have contracts, it would cost alot to cancel them , so the money saved would have to go to pay the "penalties for canceling" so in a way, trapped is where we feel alot of the time. Thank goodness for friends and family that have been able to help us in the past when we wre running low on gas money and groceries.
    TeenerBeener75

    Answer by TeenerBeener75 at 11:09 AM on Sep. 25, 2009

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